For Christmas?...Ummm
"Dad, what can I get you for Christmas?" he asked.
"Ummmm," I replied.
It's funny. That's the same thing I wanted last year.
I've arrived. I thought it would come much later in life. I thought for sure
that I would be in my "wanting" years much longer than that.
My children are asking me what I want for Christmas and I know they are looking
for answers like, socks, a tie, that new CD by..., the latest book by...and so
on.
They look at me for answers, just as they always have in more important things
in life. Like, "Dad, how come the moon doesn't bump the earth?" or "If I
swallowed a mosquito, would it fly around in my belly?"
But they want practical answers now. I say I want a tie, I get a tie and act
surprised.
There he sits looking at me, wanting for me to get him off the hook so he can
get to more important things in life. But I can't help him this time. You see,
the things I want this year can't be found in a store. Some are outright
impossible. Some only God can provide. And yet, some are so simple and practical
he would find them silly and my answer of no help to him at all.
Here's what I wanted to tell him:
I want to hold you in my arms as a babe once more. I want to kiss your forehead
and feel your heartbeat against my chest. I want to run and play in the park
with you. I want to sled down the hill and laugh as we tumble and fall face
first in the snow.
I want one more day as a child sitting around the table in the old cottage we
rented each year out at Harvey's Lake. I want Grandma and Gramps, Aunt Helen and
Uncle Al, Annie, Joey, Aunt Charlene Tom and Marie, Mom and Pop all there
playing Bingo. I want to hear Uncle Al call the numbers always starting, "Under
the "N" the free spot!"
I want to hear your Mother say "I forgive you Bob."
I want to see Aunt Shirlene's beautiful face and have coffee with Uncle Bob.
I want people to stop fighting. I want people to see our differences as
attributes not reasons to hate.
I want my friends and their families to find peace in their hearts as they
struggle to go through the first Christmas without the loved one they lost this
past year.
I want to touch the world with my stories.
I want my wife Marianne to be healthy and happy again.
I want one more day with Daisy, our Old English Sheepdog. I want to run with
her, hold her face in my hands as I kiss her on the nose. I want to know that
she really wanted to go and this guilt of having to take her life lifted from my
heart.
I want a guarantee that everyone I know will live a long full life filled with
love.
I want everyone who reads my stories to finally believe in themselves and see
that the joy of living life is in the details.
I want more time with my boys and I want to know in my heart they want to spend
time with me.
I want to live long enough to see my sons have children of their own.
I want the soldiers of all countries to go home in peace.
I want...
"Dad, did you hear me? What can I get you for Christmas?"
"Ummmm. A tie would be nice. I can always use a new tie," I said.
He hugged me, I held on a little longer and whispered "I want my boys to love
me, that's what I want for Christmas."
"They do, Dad!"
PS, I want you to know that I pray for each of you and on Christmas Day, as I
have every year since starting this list, I will scan down every email address
in my file asking God to protect you as I thank Him for the honor and privilege
of having you there.
Bob Perks bobperks@mindspring.com