As Needed

"My life is "as needed," I said to the doctor.

She smiled as I shook my head in frustration.

I had a terrible experience last night. This has never happened to me before and I ended up in the emergency room.

For whatever reason, I am still having trouble sleeping. I fall to sleep, but I get up a few times, look at the clock and toss and turn. Eventually I fall back to sleep and sometimes repeat the process all over again.

I will say this, but you won't believe a word of it by the time I'm finished. "I hate to take pills!"

Still, the top of my dresser in my bedroom has at least ten different bottles. Allergy, muscle relaxers, anti this, and pro that and yes, blood pressure medicine. They all say "Take as needed."

Since the flu struck I also have two or three different "syrups" somewhere. "As needed."

In an effort to get a full night's sleep I have been trying my collection one at a time.

Last night I took my blood pressure pill. I should take 4mg. At night as needed. I've taken 8mg during my wife's cancer battle. I never had a problem. That is until last night.

I woke up around 2:00 a.m. I tossed a few times and decided to get up for a few minutes. I often head to the bathroom and look out our small window. The moonlight on the snow makes for a great picture. Rabbits, deer and other creatures of the night catch my attention until once again I feel I can sleep.

I sat up in bed, reached down to cover our dogs with their blankets and then headed to see the view.

I never made it.

Just outside our door I started to feel faint. My vision blurred, I couldn't breathe, so I turned and yelled for my Marianne.

Next thing I know she was behind me near the bed yelling my name and holding me. We were sitting on the floor. I was mumbling and scared.

I came to discover that I passed out and fell into her night stand. She called 911. I ended up in the emergency room.

I had over medicated. The doctor, as blunt as can be said, "These are not sleeping pills. 4mg "As needed."

I thought I needed 8.

It was humiliating to say the least. Throughout the whole ordeal I kept apologizing to the five paramedics who responded, the hospital staff and mostly and foremost, to my wife.

"Baby, I'm sorry!"

Since her cancer I started calling her "Baby."

"Don't be sorry!" She said time and again.

After all she had been through she didn't need to have this happen.

I turned to God and asked that He watch over her.

That's when it hit me.

I have a collection of medicines that do nothing for me. I turn to them time and again trying to find help for whatever pains and aches I have at the moment. I use them as needed.

The doctor today gave me still another pill to try specifically for sleep. "But, please, only take it "as needed."

There it was again.

After my doctor's visit I sat in my car angry and frustrated. "God, you gave my wife a miracle. You have opened doors..." I stopped.

"I can't ask God for another thing." I thought. "I have had every break imaginable in my life. This is a stupid thing to bother Him with."

Then I heard it. "Remember God is always available..."as needed."

Bob Perks

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