As a teenager I became bound to the sin of sexual lust. The majority of American
males are also bound to lust. This didn't just leave when I accepted Jesus
Christ but stayed to torment me. Time and time again I would cry out to God,
begging His forgiveness. I thought when I got married it would leave, but sadly,
I discovered it did not. It hindered a normal sexual relationship with my wife,
whom I loved so much. I was tormented by this sin. I was bound!
In 1984 I approached a well-known minister and confessed this sin. He was known
as one of the most powerful ministers in America. I thought if anyone could get
me free, he could. He looked at me and said, "If you only knew how many men in
the Church and in ministry are bound to this same thing." He began to talk with
me a few minutes, and then I said, "Please pray for me that I might be free." So
he did, but nothing happened. I knew the problem wasn't him, so I couldn't
figure out why I wasn't free.
One year later, May 2, 1985, I went away on a four-day fast. I was fed up with
this sin. I knew it hurt God, and that Jesus had already paid the price for me
to be free. On the fourth day of that fast, God led me in a deliverance prayer,
and the spirit of lust left me! I was free! And I'm still free today!
When I inquired of the Lord why He hadn't set me free a year earlier when I was
prayed for by that minister, he showed that my initial sorrow was after a
worldly manner. I wanted to be free because I thought if I didn't get rid of
this sin, God wouldn't promote me from the ministry of helps into a preaching
ministry. I was more concerned about the consequences of this sin and how it
would affect my ministry than the fact I was sinning against God. Yet, a year
later my sorrow had changed, and now my motive was not fear of consequences on
my ministry, but that 1 loved God and wanted nothing between us. Godly sorrow
produced life-yielding repentance which led to salvation (2 Corinthians 7:10).
"Salvation" in that verse is from the Greek word sozo which from Strong's Greek
dictionary is defined: "healing, preservation, wholeness, soundness, and
deliverance." So my godly sorrow produced repentance, which granted deliverance!
Bevere, John. The Voice of one Crying. Apopka: Messenger Press, 1993, p. 86-87.
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