I Wish I had been a Drug Dealer
Shortly after I was saved, my wife and I were discussing the woman who
brought the alabaster flask of fragrant oil to the Pharisee's house and washed
Jesus' feet with tears and anointed His feet with oil. As the woman did this,
the Pharisee looked at her with contempt and thought that if Jesus were truly a
prophet, He would not allow this harlot to do this. Jesus looked at Simon the
Pharisee and said, "There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed
five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which
to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will
love him more?" Simon answered by saying the one who was forgiven of the five
hundred denarii would love more since he was forgiven of the most. Jesus
responded, saying that Simon had judged rightly!
I told my wife, "Sometimes I wish I had been a drug dealer, a thief, or some
other kind of wicked criminal before I met Jesus; then I would love Him more
because I was forgiven more. I want to love Him as much as possible!" As we
further discussed this, the Lord said to me, "John, you don't understand what I
was saying. I was dealing with the attitude of Simon's heart. He saw this woman
as one type of sinner and himself as another, much better person, only requiring
a little forgiveness. I said, `Whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble
in one point, he is guilty of all' (James 2:10-11). In My eyes the person who
tells only one lie all their life is the same as the worst prisoner! The
destination of both is the same if they are not saved!"
I felt a release of life as I realized I could love Him as much as anyone else,
because I had been under the same judgment as the worst criminal on death row!
Bevere, John. The Voice of one Crying. Apopka: Messenger Press, 1993, p. 81-82.