We had a special prayer time at the office last week. Our webmaster, Frederick,
shared with us his story:
"Last night I was telling the Lord how overwhelmed I've been feeling lately,
with all the work I have to do for our website." He said.
"I told Him I didn't know if I could do everything I'm supposed to do… and that
frankly, I was beginning to become scared of Aileen." (That's me. -- Ed.)
"But then I felt the Lord impressing upon me 2 words: obedience, and humility.
"And He said, 'You know Frederick, all I ask of you is to do what Aileen tells
you to do. And then I want you to admit that you can't do everything. And then
-- when you finally realize that -- I expect you to ask for My help.
"'Because, My son,' the Lord told Frederick, 'I CAN.'"
That same night, Frederick told us, the solution to the javascript clock he'd
been working on for 2 months finally became clear to him.
Fired with inspiration, he worked on the script for the next 6 hours, debugged
it, and by morning we were proudly telling our company president, "Frederick did
it!" And for just one moment, we were allowed to glimpse his rarely-seen smile.
During prayer that morning -- as Frederick ended his sharing -- all we could
really say to each other was, "Amazing! God is so amazing!"
"And guess what else this proves?" I told them, "Jesus knows CGI and Perl!"
* * * * *
Our webmaster wasn't the only one reminded of obedience and humility that day.
For the past few months so many changes have stormed my own life, that I
couldn't help feeling washed up and overwhelmed.
In March I received a full time job, and now I'm getting paid (regularly!) To do
everything I love -- and "everything I love" is a lot. Because we need to leave
our baby at home, my husband and I are now always looking for people we could
trust to care for her while we're away -- and it's not always a successful
search.
A few months ago my doctor found 4 lumps in my breasts (2 in each side). They
are not malignant (praise God!) But I'll need an operation in September to have
them removed.
Then -- just some weeks ago -- my husband and I were given a cell group of 4
couples to look after... and it seems like every concern they share with us adds
to the burden in our hearts.
I bet you can imagine where all this "busyness" led me.
It wasn't very long before all the roles I had to perform (operations officer,
editor in chief, ezine publisher, writer, wife, mother, friend, cell group
leader) left me with no time for myself…
…and no time for God.
For a very long time my only conversation with God was a quick, "Lord help me!"
Each morning before we kissed our baby goodbye and rushed off to work.
And although there were moments when I had some 15 minutes to spare to continue
the online workshop we started, I was at a loss on what to say.
Because I could no longer hear God's voice… and it's His voice that's been the
driving force behind this workshop all along.
This was what saddened me, most of all.
I missed God, I missed resting in His arms, I missed being able to hear Him in
the quiet of my heart. I was tired of having to be responsible all the time, I
was tired of having to watch out for everyone else.
And so -- because He knew I needed it -- God gave me that morning.
That wonderful morning, when Frederick told us his story, and I suddenly heard
His voice so clearly again:
"You know Aileen, all I ask of you is to accept what you're supposed to do.
"And then I want you to admit that you can't do everything.
"And then -- when you finally realize that -- I expect you to ask for My help.
"Because My child," the Lord tells me with love, "I CAN."
Aileen Suquila-Santos
lynsantos@quickweb.com.ph
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