Romans 11:15 - For if their rejection is the reconciliation of the world, what
will their acceptance be but life from the dead? (NIV)
My dad was an agnostic for most of his adult life. When I decided to become a
preacher, he hit the roof. He thought I was wasting my life and talents, and he
would have preferred that I had chosen to become an engineer like him, or a
teacher, or an historian.
His battle with God was surprising to me. As a teenager, he had excelled in
Bible School and even had "First in the Class" certificates. His knowledge of
the Bible was amazing, and throughout my years in seminary, he would
deliberately argue with me about the existence of God. In fact, whenever I
visited him at home, it would take us only about ten minutes to get into a
theological tussle. Any peace that was in the house before I appeared was
broken, and I usually left bitter and resentful.
I guess my dad felt let down by God. He had to care for my mom for many years
without a break. As her insanity and ill health grew progressively worse, I
could see the pain in his eyes and the stress across his face. I finally came to
the resolution that when dad berated my beliefs, he was expressing his inward
anguish and voicing his struggle with a loving God, who allowed innocent people
to suffer.
In the last year of his life, my dad was diagnosed with a stomach cancer, which
had progressed too far for treatment. The years had mellowed him, and our
relationship was a lot better, even though we were separated by the Atlantic.
When the hospice chaplain came to visit him and asked to pray, dad said, "Don't
bother, minister. My son John's prayers are all that I need."
A couple of days before he died, we shared a phone call. He didn't want me to
come over to Scotland until after he was dead. We talked about many things, and
I told him how proud I was of everything that he did for our family. At the end
of the conversation, Dad usually said, "Take care of yourself, son." This time,
he spoke three precious words, "God bless you."
Those were his final words to me. He had made his peace with God at the very
last, and in that acceptance, he was given life from the dead. We never know
when the seeds of faith will bear fruit, but we share what we know of God with
those we love and cherish, in the hope that one day acceptance of God will come.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, wherever we go today and whomever we meet, give us the
courage to fulfill the opportunities that You give us to share our faith. Grant
us the ability to express effectively our devotion to You, through our love of
one another. In Your holy name, we pray. Amen.
John Stuart traqair@aol.com
Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
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