Romans 11:29 "for God's gifts and his call are irrevocable."
When I was a teenager, I tried very hard to get rid of God in my life. I can
even remember when I was fourteen saying to God, "This is my last prayer to you.
I don't need you anymore. I'm going to get on with my own life without you." For
the next six years I became my own person, doing what I liked and loving the
freedom I experienced.
But soon that joy of liberation and self-indulgence gave way to drunkenness and
despair, to a distinct lack of purpose and a time of self-hatred. To get me
through the day, I took sedatives. To get me through the night, I drank beer.
One evening, I woke up in a hospital. I had taken an overdose and had to spend
three days in recovery. It was one of the lowest points in my life and perhaps
one of the greatest cries for attention I have ever uttered.
I'd love to say that I learned my lesson, but the next two years seemed to get
worse. I was struggling with alcohol, life and, above all, God. I was wrestling
with Him on a daily basis. Eventually I couldn't fight anymore, so I surrendered
to God and found myself back in His Kingdom. Within two years, I was heading to
Glasgow University to begin my training as a student minister in the Church of
Scotland.
God had a calling for me and it was irrevocable. No matter how hard I fought
against Him and squirmed to get out of His grasp, He held me firmly in His
hands. I may have let go of God, but He wasn't about to let go of me.
You, too, may have been wrestling with God for a while. You may doubt His
effectiveness in the world. You may be questioning what role faith has in your
life. But no matter how wayward you may be or how defiant you may have become,
if God has a calling for you, it is irrevocable. Instead of struggling with Him,
surrender to Him. Instead of letting go, just let God hold you. You'll never
regret the moment that you finally give yourself to Him.
Prayer: LORD God, You gave each of us life and a purpose. Sometimes we falter
and fail to do all that You want, or to fulfill all that You need and expect us
to do. If we have been fighting You for a long time, bring our self-affliction
to an end. If we have been wrestling with the truth or suppressing Your call,
take away our defiance and open our hearts to Your ways, Your words, Your will.
In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen.
John Stuart TRAQAIR@aol.com
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