"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his
wife, and they will become one flesh." (Gen 2:24 NIV)
In general, people yearn for love. When an attractive person of the opposite sex
begins to show interest in you, it's only natural for you to want to be with
that person. In fact, the dating period is generally idyllic and blissful, but
somehow when dating becomes a marriage, hidden differences seem to crawl out of
dark closets. If not dealt with, these differences can soon dampen the desired
oneness, causing many marriages to end in divorce.
After my wedding, it didn't take me long to learn that my wife didn't always
agree with me about everything. For example:
My wife is organized to the "T". She likes to have everything neat and tidy, and
one of the things she cannot stand is for a bed to be left unmade. As for me,
I'd rather leave the bed unmade. After all, it isn't for decoration, it's for
sleeping! Why go through the pain of making and unmaking it on a daily basis?
Isn't it a pure waste of time? Our solution was to compromise: she makes the
bed, and as soon as I get home at night, I unmake it!
Then there's the toothpaste issue. My wife likes to squeeze hers out from the
bottom, I prefer to squeeze it out from the top. It wasn't until the day we
started using different kinds of toothpastes that the solution presented itself:
a "his" and a "hers"! End of the annoyance!
Another amazingly minor inconvenience that can turn deadly is the toilet seat.
For some reason my wife likes it down and I'd rather to leave it up. Our
solution came through our rather innovative boys. They wanted a pet bird.
Somehow 1 became 15, and we now have to keep the toilet closed in order to keep
them from drowning in the toilet bowl! Now if somehow we could just convince the
boys to flush . . .
I was brought up in a home where paranoia reigned. I learned to automatically
lock all windows and doors, even when at home, even in the middle of a hot
summer day. I also check them regularly throughout the day. My wife likes to
leave them open when she's at home. She likes the fresh air, and as she puts it,
she doesn't like "living in Fort Knox". Our compromise is simple. She can open
the doors and windows if she wants, to, and it is my responsible to make sure
they are closed and locked afterwards. In fact, I have become the official "door
checker", a status that the rest of the family is generally pretty happy about;
except when it's time to leave and I'm still running around checking doors and
windows!
A major problem for us had to do with who will answer the phone. I believe world
wars have started because of this one. Alexander had no idea what kind of stress
his invention would cause to a newly weds' home! For me, I purely hate any part
of the telephone, and I've learned to deal with it in two ways: I either ignore
it completely, or as soon as I hear its annoying sound, even when the portable
handset is right under my nose, I cry out: "Phone!" Actually, my wife doesn't
mind answering the phone, but for some reason she gets upset when she has to
drop whatever she's doing to answer it when it's sitting under my nose. I can't
figure that one out! Either you like to answer the phone or you don't! We have
come to terms with this one, however. We let our boys answer the phone. Quite
practical, really! Except I'm not sure what we'll do when they've both left home
. . . Maybe we can subscribe to "call forward"?
My wife hates the mess of bar soap, and even though I'm 100% Belgian, I love
Irish Spring. That one was a tough one to resolve, but after twenty years, we
came up with a compromise: liquid soap by the sinks, Irish Spring for the
shower. Actually, I'm not quite sure I've come out equal on this one, because I
think I saw a bottle of Dove sitting beside my Irish Spring the last time I took
a shower . . . Maybe my compromise has become compromised!
As I write this devotional, I am faced with a dilemma. I could go on listing
example after example, and I would barely scratch the surface. But if I did
that, I would be writing a book for you to fall asleep over! Boring, boring,
boring!!! I realize now that when my wife and I were just married, our biggest
enemy was ourselves, and when two people push for their own way, it creates many
seemingly insurmountable barriers.
We have discovered that our Heavenly Father is the source of happiness in our
marriage. God has brought two sinners together, and as long as we follow His
example of forgiveness and selflessness, we are on firm ground. When we let God
invade our lives, He became the glue that not only kept us together, but caused
the rifts created by the above differences to be closed. In fact, sometimes we
have the opposite problem. We each try to compromise in favor of the other,
which only results in us standing again on opposites of the issue! Me in her
camp, her in mine!
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity
among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth
you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Rom 15:5-6 NIV)
If you are planning an upcoming marriage, be aware that the "I" in your life
will try to take over. Everything may seem rosy now, but believe me, you will
soon enough discover all of your spouse's imperfections! If you want your
marriage to be strong and unbreakable, draw closer to Jesus! Fix your eyes upon
Him, and as long as you let Him be the Master of your home, it will be a happy
one! "Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in.
Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed - that
exhilarating finish in and with God - he could put up with anything along the
way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right
alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that
story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That
will shoot adrenaline into your souls!" (Heb 12:2-3 The Message)
If you are already married, but your marriage is less than you imagined it to
be, draw near to Jesus. Rely on Him, share your burdens with Him and listen for
and follow His advice. Jesus never encourages divorce. To Him, the Master
reconciliatory, this is an ugly word: "'I hate divorce,' says the LORD God of
Israel." (Mal 2:16 NIV) Depend upon Him, and you will soon discover how He can
bring romance back into your life, how He can revive that love for your partner
that seems to have evaporated. As years pass by, you will recognize that you are
closer to your partner than ever before. Why? Because Jesus is the source of a
happy marriage!
"They're completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us
together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the
Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes
us." (Col 2:19 The Message)
When you depend upon the true source of happiness, the differences you may have
with your spouse will grow strangely dim. You will discover that you couldn't
have had a better spouse!
Would you like to experience a revival in your marriage? Jesus' is the answer!
"The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set
things right in this life of contradictions." (Rom 7:25 The Message)
Rob Chaffart
The Illustrator: This daily newsletter is dedicated to encouraging
everyone to look towards Jesus as the source of all the solutions to our
problems. It contains a daily inspirational story, a Bible verse and encouraging
messages. HTML and plain text versions available.
The Nugget: Published three times a week, this newsletter features inspirational devotionals and mini-sermons dedicated to drawing mankind closer to each other and to Christ.