"But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly
work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out
for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you - from
nothing to something, from rejected to accepted." (1 Peter 2:9-10 The Message)
I think we have all, at one time or another, desperately wished that the fellow
believers in our churches would show us support in what we are going through. We
have all read the uplifting words of Heb 3:13: "Encourage one another daily, as
long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's
deceitfulness", and at some level, we long for such encouragement to be present
in our home churches. Although our first goal for going to church should be to
worship God with all of our heart, soul and being, we all long to experience the
fellowship described in the New Testament.
Most of you will probably relate to the following illustration.
You enter a church for the first time. The person who greets you at the door
seems genuine enough. You receive a nice handshake, maybe even a hug, and a
church program, and you move into the sanctuary hoping that this same warmth
will also be found on the inside.
The service starts off well with an uplifting praise and worship service, and
you can feel yourself drawing closer to God, the One who makes a real difference
in your life. After the announcements however, it seems that no one has time for
you. A brief, "Hello, it's nice to see you!" Is all you hear while going to the
washroom. When the service restarts with the sermon, the people around you don't
seem to notice you at all. It doesn't matter however. As you listen to the
sermon, you are blessed by the message. Maybe after the service someone will
take note of you.
But it isn't to be. After the closing prayer, people around you gather into
little groups and talk excitedly among themselves. You look around, but you are
the only one being left out. You feel that this is somehow okay. After all, it
is your first Sunday in this particular church and no one knows you. You decide
to try and join in one of the groups. Maybe if they get to know you . . . But
you realize that as soon as someone in the group notices your presence, their
conversation ends abruptly. You smile and try to say something, and one of them
nods their head, but their conversation has come to a dead end.
You decide to move on, and you can't help but notice that once away from the
group, its enthusiasm is reignited. Then you see the guy who welcomed you to
church. He seemed so friendly at the door. He approaches you now and makes some
small talk, and you begin to think that maybe he really does care. But then
someone comes and draws him into a lengthy conversation, one that leaves you
completely on the outside.
You are getting discouraged, but you are determined to overcome it. You try
again, a lady this time. She is outwardly friendly and willing to make small
talk, but again, she zips away as soon as there is a break in the conversation
to join a group of friends. You are left, once again, on the outside.
You leave church depressed, wondering if it's something you've done; but you
persist anyway, figuring that once you are no longer a stranger, you will be
accepted into one of their groups. After a year of indifference however, with
the pastor himself only sporadically and briefly greeting you, you can't stop
your feelings of rejection. Who would blame you for turning your back on that
church for good?
Six weeks go by, and someone finally notices that you haven't been to church.
They call you up and talk with your wife. Your wife says the conversation seemed
to show genuine love, but you have to wonder why, if you mean so much now, why
were you not welcomed when in their midst?
This is a sad story, but unfortunately a common one. And it is the reason why so
many leave churches. They don't feel that they fit in. None of the cliques make
room for them, and they wander away. Some continue to cling to Jesus and look
for another church. Others reject God completely.
I have been facing a similar situation. When I left a legalistic church, God
clearly told me which church to attend. I was fed in that church, but it was a
very big church and it was hard to get to know people. We felt welcome enough
however, in a "big church" sort of way, and we stayed.
But then my boys began to grow up (they never stop doing that, do they?) And
they wanted to become more involved in church activities. Because this
particular church was a good distance away, this just wasn't possible, and we
started to pray about finding a local church.
After a bit of church hopping, we eventually decided on a local
non-denominational congregation. My boys got caught up in the young people's
activities right away and loved it, but the adults were not as quick to accept
new people into their cliques. For an entire year I was greeted in the same way
as in the above illustration, and I felt that I wasn't doing my boys justice in
getting them involved in such a cliquish church.
Finally I brought my family to another church. There I was greeted with love.
The sermons are Spirit-filled, and there are outstanding activities for the
children. I feel the presence of God in their midst. But was this the church for
me and my family?
After a few weeks of attending this new church, I received a message from God:
"But in what I instruct [you] next I do not commend [you], because when you meet
together, it is not for the better but for the worse. For in the first place,
when you assemble as a congregation, I hear that there are cliques (divisions
and factions) among you." (1 Cor 11:17-18 AMP)
I couldn't believe my eyes. As I reread this verse, I realized God was speaking
about the old church, and I was overwhelmingly persuaded that I should continue
to go to the new church.
If you feel unwanted, even despised in your church, don't give up. God is a God
of the unwanted. He loves the despised. He loves you and will never reject you.
He knows how it feels to be despised, and if you will let Him, He will lift you
up. Come and pour your heart out to Him. But don't give up on church: "And let
us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works, not
staying away from our meetings, as some habitually do . . ." (Heb 10:24,25)
Instead, ask Him to direct you to the church He wants you to attend. He has a
group of followers in your town who worship Him with all of their heart, who
will also welcome you with open arms. He will guide you to them. He may do so
instantly, or He may take His time. Whichever way He chooses, He will reveal how
much He loves you!
Remember, a Christian congregation has to have the Bible as its guide. It needs
to rely on God's Spirit for guidance. But it also must have an unearthly sense
of brotherly love, where encouraging one another is the norm.
Remember Jesus' new commandment? "A new command I give you: Love one another. As
I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that
you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35 NIV). Only by
loving like Jesus loves us will we be light beams in this world. Only with this
kind of love will we attract the unwanted to a place where they will feel
wanted.
Cliques are deadly to any church and God hates them. However, God loves His
church when they show genuine love towards each other. Remember: "There should
be no division (or cliques) in the body, but that its parts should have equal
concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one
part is honored, every part rejoices with it." (1 Cor 12:25-26 NIV)
No matter what, if you are God's child, you will be welcomed with open arms in
His kingdom! God loves you, my friend. Find those in your midst who are madly in
love with Him as well, and feel free to encourage one another.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matt 5:4 NIV)
Rob Chaffart
P. S. You are welcome to be my friend any time!
The Illustrator: This daily newsletter is dedicated to encouraging
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