Learning to trust is an extremely crucial part of
any relationship. Feeling free to trust frees us from worry and needless
anxiety. It also helps to create bonds, and it goes a long way towards reducing
the friction that can arise when there is a clash of wills. In order to truly
love someone, to truly commit your life to someone, you must first learn to
trust that person. Thus, trust also becomes a vital part of our relationship
with God.
So often, however, we never learn to trust. Those we are close to are human and
they let us down. We learn we can't trust anyone but ourselves, and then it
becomes difficult, if not impossible, to have a deep, meaningful relationship
with anyone.
Unfortunately, even though God has NEVER given us a reason to NOT trust, our
learned inability to trust other humans makes it difficult for us to learn to
trust God as well. And since kids learn by example, our inability to trust God
will lead them to not trust Him either!
As the adults in the lives of our kids, it is our God-given responsibility to
help them learn how to trust. Not only will this go a long ways towards
strengthening our relationship with them, but it will also teach them how to
trust, a skill that will be vital for them in life's relationships, including
their relationship with God.
How can we help our children learn to trust?
The Bible gives us the answer: "In this case, moreover, it is required of
stewards that ONE BE FOUND TRUSTWORTHY." (1 Cor 4:2-3 NASB) In other words, we
need to consistently prove to our children that WE are trustworthy!
Here are three key ways of ensuring that our kids can find us trustworthy:
1. Lead exemplary lives
We need to put into practice what we are trying to teach our children. When we
do, we give the message that what we say is important enough to be standards in
our own lives. This goes a long way towards helping kids learn to trust what we
say. When we don't "practice what we preach", we give mixed messages, and it
becomes detrimental to trust-building. We need to remember a vitally-important
piece of advice given to us by Jesus: "For everyone to whom much is given, FROM
HIM MUCH WILL BE REQUIRED." (Luke 12:48 NKJV) We have been given the awesome
responsibility of being an example for the kids in our lives. If we want our
kids to trust what we tell them, we must do everything in our power to lead
exemplary lives. We must practice what we preach!
2. Trust God first and foremost in our own lives
Where we, as humans, fail, God never fails. He is always faithful about His
promises (see 1 Peter 3:15), and we can look back through history and see how
faithfully he has always kept them.
Our flawed human experiences often keep us from trusting God, and our own lack
of trust in God gives the message to our children that He is not to be trusted!
We need to take time to reflect on His faithfulness and remember that He is
faithful yesterday, today, and forever. Only when we learn to trust God, we will
be able to teach that trust in God to our children!
3. Promise Keeping
Think about it: A colleague promises you he will write up the proposal for the
product research the two of you have been working on. But when the time comes to
present that proposal, you learn he didn't do it! Will you trust him in the
future? The answer is "no". When someone doesn't keep his or her promises, it
becomes very difficult to trust that person! In the same way, when a parent or
someone of authority in a child's life never keeps his or her promises, or even
for a one-time instance, breaks the child's confidence in some way, that child
will have difficulty learning to trust.
On the other hand, when we are diligent about keeping our promises, it becomes
much easier for those around us to learn to trust us.
I'll admit, keeping our promises is easier said than done. Sometimes we promise
things, and then something comes up and we can't keep that promise. Or sometimes
we promise things without really realizing what we are promising. And then
there's the element of how kids define whether or not you've kept your promises.
In your mind, you may think you have, but in their minds, you haven't! Whatever
the cause, the end is the same: You lose the confidence of your kids!
The bottom line is this: If you make a promise to the child in your life, do
EVERYTHING in your power to keep it!
In summary, it is our God-given responsibility to help the kids in our lives
learn to trust. We do so by leading exemplary lives, by trusting God in our own
lives, and by keeping our promises.
But how are we to go about keeping our promises when so many things can happen
to make us break them?
Lyn Chaffart
The Illustrator: This daily newsletter is dedicated to encouraging
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