Since my early childhood I have had the nasty preoccupation with trying to
please others. Not that this is a bad thing. It's only bad when the reactions of
others become the basis of your self-esteem!
For example:
I try to encourage my students to enjoy math to the fullest. I have them cheer
whenever math is announced, and I always try to exclaim math facts in an
exciting and thrilling way. My method seemed to work at first. My students were
in competition with one another to see who can cheer the loudest when I called
math class. Wow! I felt good about myself! I was finally able to please my
students!
I decided to share my math methodology with the world, and I began in the staff
room. For some reason however, all of my colleagues seemed to shy away from me.
More often than not, I would find myself alone at the table in the corner! Then
one day one of my students made a solemn, horrifying declaration: "I hate math!"
That was it. My bubble was burst. My little world of living to please others
with my math knowledge came crumbling down. I was a total failure!
But why had my students cheered whenever we had math? Had it all been a façade?
Is it possible they had been trying to please me instead of the other way
around?
I decided then to try to redeem myself as a teacher. I would please my students
with my cartoon drawings on my white board. I began changing letters into
people's faces, and sure enough my students were soon "oohing" and "aahing" at
my illustrations. In fact, they asked for more and more of them, and they even
begged me to draw their faces on the board! Once again I felt good about myself:
I had finally found a way to please everyone!
When I shared these drawings with other significant people however, their
comments went something like this: "What did you draw? Is it a cow? Maybe a
piranha?"
My bubble was again burst. Once again my students were obviously just trying to
please me instead of the other way around.
But I wasn't ready to give up, and I gave myself one last chance to please those
students. One thing that has always brought a smile to any class I have taught
is when I bring out my guitar and we sing songs in French. I enjoy singing, and
since my students obviously liked my voice, I reasoned that others would as
well! So I began using my booming baritone voice wherever I was. The shower room
turned into a sound booth where I practiced my scales, public restrooms had just
the perfect resonance to practice my vocal projection, and restaurants made
excellent places to test the reaction of the general public to my singing.
That's when I learned a devastating fact: My family was embarrassed by my
singing! Every time I opened my mouth, three sets of fingers became firmly
lodged in three pairs of ears, and my wife's face took on this look of total
dismay!
My self-esteem might have been able to withstand even this, but it was blown to
bits by the obvious looks of horror on the faces of my own two sons. With their
eyes big and bulging they approached me cautiously and asked me, "What was that
noise?"
"I am trying to please others by sharing my talents with the world!" I exclaimed
with a big bright smile.
"What talents? And why in a public restroom? Don't you know how embarrassing
this is?"
"But my students love it when I sing and …"
"Sorry to break it to you, papa, but you sound more like a cow than a baritone,
and look and all those cumulus clouds that have rolled in since you started
singing!"
That's when I began to realize that some of my hidden talents would be better
off remaining hidden! I also learned that I can't please everyone, and maybe I
shouldn't even try. In trying to please one, I make others feel uncomfortable.
Figure that one out! But the worst thing was, my efforts to please everyone were
changing me into someone I wasn't!
Real living is to enjoy who you really are and to stop trying to please others
by changing yourself into something that you are not. We are NOT defined by what
others think of us. How miserable we would end up feeling if we were! We are
defined only by what God thinks of us. Nothing more, nothing less.
If only THAT would always be reflected in my action!
"They are no more defined by the world than I (Jesus) am defined by the world."
(John 17:16 The Message)
"From now on everyone is defined by Christ." (Col 3:11)
"God's love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, his
verdicts oceanic. Yet in his largeness nothing gets lost; Not a man, not a
mouse, slips through the cracks. How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we
are to run under your wings, To eat our fill at the banquet you spread as you
fill our tankards with Eden spring water." (Ps 36:5-8 The Message)
I wonder if I should take up drama and dance? Who knows? Maybe I would end up
being the new Fred Astair! (Isn't he the latest sensation? Or am I in the wrong
century?)
Rob Chaffart
The Illustrator: This daily newsletter is dedicated to encouraging
everyone to look towards Jesus as the source of all the solutions to our
problems. It contains a daily inspirational story, a Bible verse and encouraging
messages. HTML and plain text versions available.
The Nugget: Published three times a week, this newsletter features inspirational devotionals and mini-sermons dedicated to drawing mankind closer to each other and to Christ.