Their faces all blur together…
I see her when I look in the mirror tonight…the girl who has lost all hope...her dark eyes haunt my thoughts, what can I say Lord? How can I bring her hope?
I see him when I wake up in the middle of the night. I wonder if he is awake and still praying and hoping those unwanted feelings will go away. The tears fall softly down my cheeks as I pray for him. Lord, why was he given these feelings? Why must he struggle day after day with those thoughts?
I “see” another young man when I watch a school play… I remember watching him year after year and hearing about what a special young man he was...all of his life ahead of him. Why Lord? Why did he end his life? What can those he left behind do with the all the pain and agony of not understanding. If only… if only he had reached out to just one person before giving into the despair and hopelessness…
I see her in my minds eye…one of the most outwardly beautiful girls I have ever known....but she doesn't see her beauty when she looks in the mirror. She only sees her failures and her flaws. Her insecurity shouts so much louder then the still small voice inside her. Why Lord? Why can’t she see herself the way you do? Why can't she latch onto your Words when You call her your precious, precious daughter? Perfect in her flaws for You have made her.
I ask these questions of You tonight, and I search my heart for what You would say to me…
This is how you answer me…
"My child, there is no pit so deep, that My love is not deeper still. I see each of these also. They are so much better left in My hands then yours. For you see, I am at work....you may not see Me, you may not hear Me, but in My Word I say that I am close to the broken hearted. My ways are not your ways child. How quickly you forget that I have each hair on their head numbered. My love for them is endless and never changing. They only need to stretch out their hand from the pit they are in, and I will pull them up and hold on to them and never let them go.
There is nothing that goes unnoticed by Me. Remember my child, I say that for anyone who harms one of my children, it would be better for them to tie a millstone around their neck and be thrown into the sea. I take it very seriously when someone messes with my children. For I love them so very much. Trust me Kristi. Trust that I see and hear and know and My plan for them is one of hope and a future."
Within the quiet of my soul I then ask, “How can I help you Lord? What would you require of me?” And then I remember that it is in the little things of life that the big things are made. It is in the kindness of a small deed or thought that You are seen.
“Do you remember Kristi?”
“Yes”, I reply, “I remember.” Twenty-five years ago, and I still remember. I remember standing up for her.
“It was such a small thing, Lord, to stand up for her in gym class.”
“But what happened Kristi?”
“It gave her the confidence and hope she needed, Lord. It was the small act of kindness that she needed to know how much You loved her Lord. Afterwards she was able to stand up for herself. To know she was worthy. That she was confident. That she was loved....just the way she was.”
“And that, My child, is what I require of you. The hand for them to hold on to when the waves of life crash in. The lap to lay their head in and just cry when all of the world seems too dark to go on. Sometimes, but only sometimes, you will be the one to stand up for them, to say where the wrong has been done to them. To be My voice and to be their defender.”
I take it all in as God’s still small voice speaks to my heart.
“Kristi, there is one thing above all others that I would have you do.”
“Anything, Lord, anything!”
“PRAY. For I hear your prayers and I answer. Maybe not in the way you would like, but I answer prayer. Sometimes I answer it in the smallest way.
As I finish pouring my heart out to God this evening, I put my laptop away and I gently lift the sleeping five-year-old that has been curled up next to me and carry him to his room. As I tuck him in his bed he opens up those large sleepy eyes and says, "Mommy, I love you. You are the nicest Mommy in the world."
I sit on his bed and smile. In twelve words, my youngest has made my night a special one. Twelve words was all it took to end my day on a joyful note…
in the smallest way....
Kristi Powers NoodlesP29@aol.com
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