I sat in the recliner and
stared into space. The phone had rung and I answered it and was shocked as to
who was on the other end. The phone call had been from a very dear friend. A
friend I had loved so much. However, somewhere, somehow, our friendship had been
severed. Now unexpectedly, Marge calls me. How many months had I tried to talk
to her? Marge did not receive nor acknowledge my calls, cards, or visits. Now
she was sick and she wanted me to be with her. Many things were going through my
mind. Marge had hurt me so badly. Never gave an explanation or anything. She
just stopped being my friend. Oh, how that hurt! Now Marge wanted me to come
over and help her out. Could I do that? Did I want to open up again trusting,
loving, and the pain of rejection? No, I did not. Yet, Marge needed me and I
would go to be with her. I hung up the phone I had been holding and went to comb
my hair. This was hard. I prayed, "Oh, Lord, you know everything and I need you
now. I do not want to open myself up to be hurt again. However, as a Christian I
do need to help those who need help. Please go before me and let there be love
in my heart."
I walked slowly out the door. Apprehension filled my
entire being. I did not want to go to Marge's house. Yet, I knew I must. In my
flesh, I felt betrayed and bewildered by all that had happened between the two
of us. Now, unexpectedly, I get this phone call and as if nothing had happened
over the last months, Marge needed me. I was not sure I was that good of a
Christian to forget all that had happened. I soon learned in her early Christian
walk that Christians could hurt you much more than those in the world. You
expected worldly people to hurt you. However, Christians were supposed to be
different. I knew the answer to that. Sure, they were, but far too often, they
were not. Far too often, there was no sign of Jesus in many of their lives. I
prayed that I would always strive to be Christ-like in my actions, words and
deeds. Oh yes, I failed like the others. Picking up that cross daily was not
easy but Jesus had changed my life. I was so very lost and He forgave me and
reached down to lift me out of the pit.
Oh yes, He had touched me. I recalled something a
friend told me, "Christians are not perfect, just forgiven." I knew I was far
from perfect and there were many areas in my life I needed to improve. With
another quick prayer I left, to get over to Marge's and see what the Lord wanted
me to do.
It was hard to go up to the door. Even harder to see
Marge and pretend as if nothing had happened all those months ago. However, I
looked at the pain in her eyes, reached over, and hugged her. We walked into the
house without a word said. Then Marge said, "Shar, I have cancer. I need you to
be here with me. I do not want unbelievers around
me who
doubt that our Lord can and will heal me."
I could understand that. One could see that she wanted
to be surrounded by believers. Too often, one claimed to believe but the belief
went only as far as they could see. In an odd way, this was a compliment to me.
I looked and her and smiled. "Oh, Marge, of course, I will be here whenever you
need me." That was the beginning of a healing that may not have been what we
expected but indeed it was a healing.
In the weeks that followed, the many times Marge spent
in the hospital I tried to be there for her as much as I could be. I would be
amazed as I went into her room at the hospital; every time there would be praise
music playing on her tape player. Many times, she would lay back with her eyes
closed lifting her hands in the air and be praising the Lord. What a witness she
was to the unbeliever. Her body racked with pain, but still praising the Lord
with her whole being. On more than on occasion I would hear people leave her
room and just shake their heads and make comments on how could she be so
peaceful. Only with Jesus, I would think to myself.
When it became apparent that treatments would do no
good and the doctors just gave up. Marge went home. They actually sent her home
to die. However, we believed the Lord would touch her with His healing touch and
what a testimony that would be. We never stop believing that. The Doctors put
her on oxygen
I would spend many hours reading Psalms to her and
just listening to praise music and praying. I would look over at Marge as she
lay on the bed with a smile on her face many times. I asked her, "Marge, why are
you smiling?"
She would look at me and say; "You can't see them can
you?"
"See who? Who is it you see?"
"Oh, Shar, I see the angels, they are around my bed.
They are surrounding me."
I was shocked. Were angels there? Did she really see
angels? It was then that I knew she was in the Spiritual realm. Things started
to become different after that. She would lay with a smile for hours. She did
not talk as she used to. I still read to her and she loved it when I did.
However, I knew that things were not the same.
Several times Marge got so bad that she had to go to
the hospital. One night they said she actually died but they brought her back.
This was the turning point in everything. Marge quit fighting. She did not care
anymore. A nurse told the family that she had seen this happen. When a person
actually dies and comes back, they catch a glimpse of heaven and they no longer
fight to stay here. True or not, I do not know but she did quit fighting. Marge
knew now that both her sons had accepted Christ and they were now living for
Him. She knew her husband was saved and that he would be fine. She was ready to
go home. Marge was in the Spiritual realm more often than out of it. I would
smile as I watched her smile and say, "The angels are back aren't they Marge?"
She would say, "Oh yes, can't you see them Shar? You
really can't see them?"
"No, I can't see them Marge. But, I am so glad they
are there for you."
This was the time I sat back and knew that I loved
her. No matter what had happened I still loved her, she was dear friend. Old
hurts were gone and I really had forgotten the pain and the hurt. What peace! I
thanked God and prayed for Marge.
The last couple of weeks of Marge's life were filled
with awakenings. She would see her Mom and Dad who has passed on years ago. She
no longer took pain medication for she did not have pain. The cancer had filled
her body, yet she had no pain. The night before she went home to be with Jesus
the house was full of people. Her sisters were there, and some friends. I sat by
her bedside as everyone went to the garage to talk. Marge looked at me and
smiled. She whispered, "Thank you, after all I did to you, you have been here
for me."
I looked at her and with conviction said, "Oh, where
else would I be, I never stopped loving you."
Marge nodded. She laid back and closed her eyes for a
second then came to a complete sit-up. He eyes were open so wide and she gasped
for breath. I reached for her and she fell back unto the bed. Then she did it
again. What was on her face? Was it fear? I had no idea but I was scared, the
room seemed to be so quiet. All I could hear was her gasps for air. The smell of
coffee filled the room and seemed to suffocate me. I became very anxious. The
room was so still. I started to pray.
"Oh Jesus, please Jesus help us here. Oh Jesus, we
need you. Help me to help her."
I was not sure how long I sat there holding Marge's
hand and praying that prayer. It seemed like eternity. Then I heard voices and
people started to drift back into the room. I looked at Marge and she had her
eyes closed and was breathing peacefully. Nevertheless, I knew that Marge would
not be with us much longer. How? I do not know but I knew it. I believed she saw
the death angel.
One never left Marge's without her saying, "God's
angels go with you, protect you and keep you safe in Jesus name." This night she
asked me to say it to the people as they left. Soon afterwards, I bent over to
give her a kiss and went home.
The phone rang a 7:30 am and it was Marge's son
saying, "Sharon we need you, can you come over right now?"
I threw on my clothes and was out the door. When I
arrived at Marge's her sister informed me that Marge was gone. I cried, "No, she
is not gone."
I walked into the house and her son was giving her
CPR. He said, "Pray Sharon, just pray." I fel to my knees praying. I prayed and
prayed until the EMS arrived and took Marge to the hospital. Her husband and one
son followed the ambulance. I stayed back to call the other son to come home
from work. I waited on him and when he got there, I rode with him to the
hospital. We prayed all the way.
When we got there, we went in to see Marge. She looked
at her son and smiled then laid back and went to sleep. She went home to be with
her Lord. Through tears and unbelief I, left the hospital and drove slowly back
to her house. What happened? Wasn’t she healed? I could not understand. "Lord,
you gave my friend back to me and now she is gone again. Why? You could have
healed her. You could have!"
Tears rolled freely down my face. It was then I felt
His presence. I felt His peace. A warm feeling filled me and washed over me.
Then I knew. Marge received her healing. She would suffer no more; there would
be no tears, no pain, and no struggling to breathe. Another healing took place
it was a healing between the two of us. Whatever had happened to our friendship
it was forgotten and forgiven. I saw how God had used Marge as a testimony to
Him. Her faith, courage, and love never failed. Her witness through her struggle
with cancer was so powerful that many unbelievers marveled at her faith. The
first week in March, Marge was diagnosed with cancer and June 10 she went home.
I dedicate this to a courageous woman who loved the
Lord with all her heart and was not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ:
Marjorie Irene Fackler.
Sharon Neise sniese3@roadrunner.com
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