One is not required to believe, but I believe this story to be true.
Having been recently remarried and on a remote tour for a year away from my
family, I was stationed in Korea, the Land of the Morning Calm. It was here that
God humbled me a peg or two by showing me I was an alcoholic for over 16 years.
That's right, I am John and I am an alcoholic. (Hi, John!) I am grateful for
this knowledge because it led me to the root evil of all my unhappiness, all my
confusion, my anger, and all my "emotional baggage".
I had been sober for about 4 months and had begun my "4th step" which is where
one is to identify the wreckage in our lives and seek its' basic root evil. I
quickly realized that I had a lot of anger, resentment and "stuff" to deal with.
There was a lot of "emotional wreckage" tormenting me. I didn't do emotions in a
healthy way, and had no idea of how to handle them. Overwhelmed and trying to
get a foothold in this avalanche of realizations of sin in my life and how evil
I was within, I was desperate for God's wisdom. On my knees, I cried...and I
cried out to God. I literally begged Him - God to speak to me. "God, what is my
number one problem?". I wanted to know so badly. I listened... and nothing. I
still believed God would show me eventually, but I really wanted Him to speak to
me. I laid down assuming I couldn't handle His truth or that God wasn't going to
speak to me. I grew tired and was worn out, emotionally.
Tear soaked eyes and partially conscious, mostly asleep, my request was answered
by Him. In His majestic and stately voice, God spoke to me. My first reaction
was trembling for I knew I was in the presence of something Great... God... His
voice; His Majesty; His Righteousness!! Awesome, simply Awesome!!! Hearing His
voice made things explode in my mind. I reacted in a sort of gleeful panic,
scared, excited, sorrowed, and overjoyed all at the same time. And I cried
REALLY, REALLY hard because I was so honored to hear His voice, and at the same
time, frightened because God revealed to me in a single word, the very nature of
my misery.
God said the word, "John."
"John?" I thought and a little scared.
"John?" I thought and a confused momentarily.
"John!" I thought in a shocked state. "God means me? Am I my own worst enemy?"
"John...It's me?.... It's me..... It's me!" I thought. "Wow!" God told me and I
understood right away the magnitude of His message. In a word, he told me that I
am my own worst enemy.
Overjoyed and scared.... I had to call the one and only person I knew would
believe me and understand me, and she did, of course. I am grateful that my best
friend is and always will be my beautiful wife.
God revealed to me something that I really needed to know, and I want to share.
I learned that yes, indeed, I am my own worst enemy. Now, I have a definition of
pride which I feel is useful: "My thinking I am in charge."
This caused me to take a key step in my faith as a Christian. I made a complete
surrender to Jesus. I got to take a good look at what God meant about my evil
(John) in all aspects of my life. I saw my true nature and I am so much more
grateful for God's gift of Eternal Salvation. I also realized I couldn't earn my
way to heaven, nor intellectualize my way to heaven. I realized that God held me
in the same regard as the rich man and the poor man, and that my sinful nature
was no better and no worse than any man's. I could no longer judge others. A
life of daily obedience to God has freed me from the bondage of alcoholism, and
more importantly, myself.
To learn more about Alcoholics Anonymous, visit
http://www.aa.org
John Gage is the talented & humble author of "Moved"
http://www.2theheart.com/inspirational_stories/ is a devout Christian and
family man; he teaches Sunday school and leads two fellowships in his home in
Utah. He also performs duties as a Major in the United States Air Force. Email
John and let him know how his story affected you!
John.Gage@HILL.af.mil
Molly Natchek tasked with promoting the The National Council on Seniors Drug & Alcohol Rehab: https://rehabnet.com/ .We have a ton of great information on our site that I thought your audience might find useful.
The Illustrator: This daily newsletter is dedicated to encouraging
everyone to look towards Jesus as the source of all the solutions to our
problems. It contains a daily inspirational story, a Bible verse and encouraging
messages. HTML and plain text versions available.
The Nugget: Published three times a week, this newsletter features inspirational devotionals and mini-sermons dedicated to drawing mankind closer to each other and to Christ.