After five years of marriage I found myself "Single Again," and raising my three
year old son alone. The thirty dollars a week from child support was not nearly
enough. So without a college education, and limited skills, I went out to look
for a job. I was fortunate to find a clinic in need of a receptionist, paying
five dollars an hour. It wasn't much, but it wasn't a bad start either.
Being accepted for the job restored my shattered confidence. But starting the
job meant another major disappointment, that of leaving my child with a
babysitter every day. I had always dreamed of becoming a mother, raising my own
children, teaching them my values, and not missing out on any of their
achievements. Then, only after they were grown, would I go to school to become a
nurse. But first, I wanted to be the "kool-aid" mom on the block, join the PTA ,
care for the kids, the dog, the car, and have those "calgon take me away" days.
But now my path had been altered, and I was heading for somewhere unknown.
Like a fish out of water, I started the job on a Monday. And every morning, I
handed my crying child over to the babysitter and then cried all the way to
work. By the end of the week it had gotten a little easier, but when friday came
along and we were both still crying I said, "Enough" and I resigned. I had
waited too long for my son to come into my life, and I just had to find a
another way.
The following week a schedule of classes had arrived from our community college.
And as I slowly flipped through the pages, one program stood out. A four year
nursing program! It read, rates affordable, the possibility of a grant, and was
designed more for what they called displaced homemakers. Hummm, "Why not," I
thought to myself, "Why not go to school now?! .
The college also had a certified child care program. What better place, then to
leave my son with people trying to achieve success in caring for children. And,
what I loved the most, was the room with the two way mirror, where parents could
sit and watch their children play. This was definitely something I could handle,
and one of a kind. I could be there if he needed me, and I wouldn't miss a
thing. It was such a grand design, God was opening up a new door for us.
I immediately enrolled in classes, and after I finished with registration I went
directly to my parents' house, sat down on the couch next to my Dad, and just
cried. "I'm so scared Dad, I haven't been to school in ten years." And as he
held me he asked, "Did you make it through today?", "Yes I did," I tearfully
replied. "Now just take One Day At a Time, and no more," he said.
His words echoed inside my head as I started my first semester. It took three
years for me to complete the prerequisites, instead of two. I babysat for three
beautiful children, worked at the college, attended classes, and took care of my
son, the house, the dog, etc. I became a good juggler. I coached bases for my
son's baseball team, worked the concessions stand, assisted in cubscouts, and I
was also getting my chance to be the kool-aid mom.
Then the day finally came to apply to the two year nursing program, then
anxiously await the news by mail for my acceptance. On a beautiful, warm, summer
afternoon, the notification letter arrived. I tore open the envelope and read
the news that would launch a new career. My smile slowly sunk into a frown,
along with it my heart, as the letter read, "I am sorry to inform you, we are
unable to accept you into the nursing program." I remember it saying something
about being a point short somewhere, with no chance of getting in.
Tears started to flow as I crushed the letter in my hand and looked up toward
heaven. "Why God, What is it you want from me,?!" I shouted. I felt the world
caving in all around me and for the next several days I felt rejected
and alone once more.
Then, just One Day At a Time, I started to get over another disappointment, and
I began to move on with my life. I did a lot of thinking, praying, and asking
God to show me the way. I was restoring my faith, reading God's word and placing
my future back in His hands. I kept busy and enjoyed my time with the kids. I
found driving down the street, windows down, radio blasting, the kids and I
singing at the top of our lungs, the happiest place to be.
Suddenly the TV news reported, that the community college, was having
difficulties, and was in jeopardy of losing their accreditation. "I'm not
surprised" I thought with a bit of resentment. With that news, students started
pulling out and looking for other colleges. "You see," I said to myself, you
might have had to quit anyway, there was a reason.
Negotiations were going on and in a matter of weeks the college was back to
maintaining their accreditation. When surprisingly enough, I received a letter
from the college. "Congratulations, you have been accepted into the nursing
program," it read. "Oh my gosh I can't believe this, I've been accepted into the
program," I screamed! Students had fled with the threat of losing accreditation,
which left many openings and they now needed me, as much as I needed them.
Well, I started nursing school. And, with the help of my mom, and a friend named
Debbie, in June of 1987 I graduated with a degree in nursing. My family by my
side, I was handed my diploma.
I took the state boards and passed with flying colors. Then, after a much needed
vacation, I began my nursing career.
I was able to work hours that fit around my sons life, so I didn't miss a thing.
I never missed one of his baseball or basketball games or special events, and I
had plenty of those "Calgon take me away days." And to this
day, I still take just One Day at a Time, because I know, there is a time and
purpose for everything. And sometimes God gives you what you need and then
sometimes He gives you what you want, but He always gives it One Day At a Time.
Linda Ferris lafrn10@aol.com
Linda makes her home in Southeast Michigan with her wonderful twenty-one year
old son, Michael. She won the Heart Notes contest last month, and has written
other stories for 2theheart such as "Gentle Strength", which can be found in our
archives, and more stories scheduled to run in the future!
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