I have been a Primary School teacher for many years now. Throughout my career
there have been several occasions when incidents in the classroom have impacted
me, just as much, if not more, than they have impacted the students in my
classes. None more so than an experience I remember as if it was just yesterday.
David was a student with come major learning difficulties. He struggled with
most areas of the curriculum. He was often covered in mud from his rather
vigorous games outside. He was always the last to be chosen if teams were needed
for games. Few children would willingly work with him or play with him. During
lunch and snack times the other children in the class often swapped treasures or
treats their parents had packed in their lunchboxes. I had never seen anyone
swap anything with David. As often happens, David's frustrations and feelings of
rejection often led to misbehaviour in the classroom. One day I had had to talk
to him about some unacceptable behaviour.
After our 'chat' David returned to his desk and I continued with the group of
students I was working with at that time.
At first I didn't notice David come up beside me. Before I had a chance to say
anything David asked, "Do you like tomatoes?" I replied rather tersely, "Yes.
David but... (Thinking this was just another strategy to avoid his work I was
about to direct him, firmly, back to his seat). Before I could say a word David
quickly turned and went back to his seat and continued with the work he had been
set. I could not fathom his strange question and decided David was just avoiding
the work he had been set. I turned away from him and back to my group.
Lunchtime came. David waited behind after all the other children had gone out to
play and slipped quietly up to my desk where I was trying to get some marking
done before going for my own lunch break.
"Please..." I looked up and saw a scruffy little boy with mud on his shoes. His
hair was ruffled, his shirt hanging out, his nose running and tear tracks ran
down his cheeks. His big brown eyes looked up at me with a longing for
acceptance that I had not seen before.
It was then that David said, "I've got this for you". There in his grubby little
hand was a tiny, rather squashed, cherry tomato.
Tears came to my eyes as I realised that David was really hurting and needed,
more than anything else, to know that I cared for him. He needed to know that my
love and concern for him was not based on his looks, his behaviour, or his
scholastic performance. In his own little way David was attempting to restore
our relationship by giving the only thing he had to give.
I drew David into my arms and gave him the hug he had been so desperate to
receive. I took his little gift into my hand and through my own tears I said,
"David that's the best gift I have today. Thank you"
One little cherry tomato and one little boy's willingness to give it up to
restore a relationship. I wondered...David could have given up on our
relationship. In his determination to cover his hurt and rejection, he could
have become even more difficult or 'switch off' and give up on trying to achieve
any worthwhile results in his academic work. But instead, David gave that rather
unusual gift...all that he had...his special lunchtime treat...
How often do we as teachers say things or do things that can have a lasting
effect on the children we teach? How often in the busyness of a school day, do
we miss occasions when we need to listen with our hearts and see the real needs
of the children in our care.
I wish I could say that David's academic scores improved rapidly. I wish I could
say the other children began to accept him more and welcomed him into their
friendship groups or games...but those things didn't happen. David continued to
have problems with his behaviour.
I can say though, that David often stayed behind at lunchtimes and we had some
great times. Sometimes we would just sit and talk sometimes we just listened to
music on the tape recorder. As I worked David would draw pictures.
I can also say that David taught me a great lesson and I will always remember
the, 'Lesson of the Little Tomato'.
I will always try to look beyond the external appearance, beyond the behaviour,
beyond the difficulties with academic work. I will always attempt to support the
emotional needs of the children in my classes.
All thanks to David and his little cherry tomato.
Lynne Graham (Melbourne, Australia)
grahamlc@ozemail.com.au
I have been a teacher in Melbourn, Australia for nearly 25 years now. I also
taught in India and Bangladesh for some time.
I have qualifications in Special Education and am currently working as a teacher
of the Deaf. I travel around visiting children with hearing impairment who are
presently mainstreamed. I have always enjoyed the challenge of teaching children
with special needs -- perhaps more in the area of emotional behavioural
problems.
P. S. I am allergic to tomatoes!
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