The Goals You Shouldn't Set
The joy of the LORD is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10).
I was speaking at a church conference when a woman who was attending invited me
to her home for dinner with her family. The woman had been a Christian for 20
years, but her husband was not a Christian. After I arrived it didn't take me
long to realize that the real reason she had invited me to dinner was to win her
husband to Christ.
I discovered later that the woman had been severely depressed for many years.
Her psychiatrist insisted that her depression was endogenous and she staunchly
agreed. But I believe her depression stemmed from a wrong goal. For 20 years she
had based her success as a Christian on winning her husband and children to
Christ. She had prayed for them, witnessed to them, and invited guest preachers
home to dinner. She had said everything she could say and done everything she
could do, but to no avail. As the futility of her efforts loomed larger, her
faith faltered, her hope dimmed, and her depression grew.
Her husband adequately provided for the physical needs of his family. He simply
didn't see any need for God. I shared with him about my life and ministry during
our visit, but I didn't force my faith on him. I trust that I was a positive
witness. In the meantime, his wife's increasing depression was destroying her
witness.
You should, of course, desire that your loved ones come to Christ, and pray and
work to that end. Your goal is to be a positive witness by becoming the spouse
or parent God has called you to be. Then you must leave the results to God.
Assuming responsibility for the salvation of your loved ones is beyond your
ability. Every loved one can choose not to respond to Christ. Depression often
signals that you are desperately clinging to a goal you have little or no chance
of achieving, and that's not a healthy goal.
Dr. Anderson, Freedom in Christ and Harvest House Publishers www.ficm.org