The Big Show
When I was younger I loved taking part in the high school musicals. I loved
the idea of performing in front of hundreds of people and I loved to sing.
In one production, I auditioned like everyone else.
My music teacher, who was also the music director for the show, was so convinced
that I'd get a particular part that she had me sing for people who visited our
classroom.
We even rehearsed my songs.
One day the show director pulled me aside. I was expecting to be offered the
part. Instead he said, "Bob, I owe a favor to someone. I need to give the part
to another boy."
I had always been an "easy touch," a kid you could push around. If I had a
quarter all my friends shared in the penny candy it bought.
I walked to school with kids no one else had time for.
I'd take the blame for something someone else did.
But at that very moment when the director told me that I would lose because he
owed someone a favor, I became bitter.
I began hating music class. I complained that I didn't like what we were
singing. My teacher didn't know why. She scolded me in front of the class and
told me I had changed. She didn't know what I had been told.
When they announced the finalists I was given a minor role. My ego fought with
the idea. My pride struggled with having to do something I didn't think I should
be doing.
But I did it.
The part I thought I had was a romantic lead who sang some of the most beautiful
love songs.
Looking back now I can see where my heart began to develop into being the "run
on the beach with the balloons," "sail off into the sunset," "Old Romantic" I am
today.
It turns out that the minor role I had was muchmore fun. I and a friend got to
play opposite one of the leads, dance a few times and, as it turned out, I got
to step into the spot light for a few bars and surprise even my brother who was
in the audience.
In what I always refer to the "Disneyland in my mind," I always wished that life
was like a musical. There would be great lavish scenes where everyone around you
would break into dance, just when you needed to open your heart to someone.
There would be dramatic, heart breaking goodbyes complete with the most
wonderful music, but always, always a happy ending.
As I have gotten older I have had to close a few of those rides in my
"Disneyland." Reality has set in and I struggled to fit into "Fantasyland."
Don't worry. I still have those child-like "Goofy" moments. I just don't stay
there as long as I once did.
I've learned something from all if that.
Life is really like a play and although we did not audition for the role, each
of us were appointed by the Director to play a certain part in it.
The problem is we sometimes don't like the part we were given. Like me in high
school we become bitter and arrogant. We decide that if we can't have the lead,
we won't show up for rehearsal.
Then we wonder why we feel so lost.
Sometimes we don't even feel like we are a part of the "Big Show."
Everyone does indeed have a role. Some in front of the curtain, some behind, but
all are necessary in order for the show to go on.
All contribute to the success no matter how minor the part.
If you are feeling lost, disconnected, why not show up for the rehearsal or call
on the Director for a one on one.
By the way. It had bothered me all these years that my music director thought I
had changed. I carried the image of that moment in my mind all the way through
until last year at age 61.
By God's Grace, Miss Dorothy Turner is still alive.
I called her one day and explained everything to her. I asked for her
forgiveness. She forgave me.
Since then I reopened a few of those rides.
Come join me. Admission is free.
Oh, and "Places everyone!" The curtain went up again this morning on "The Big
Show."
Bob Perks
bobperks@comcast.net