"Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be
compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On
the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that
you may inherit a blessing." (1 Peter 3:8-9, NIV)
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance
against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13, NIV)
Once you are married, conflicts will arise. One day you blend so nicely, and the
next a storm comes out of nowhere. My first conflict with my wife was over who
should answer the phone. While we were dating we had explored almost all topics
possible, except about who would answer the phone. It seems silly now, many
years later, but at that time it wasn't. Neither of us liked answering the
phone!
In hindsight, I wish I had volunteered to answer that silly phone instead of
entering into conflict with my wife. Still our Heavenly Father still loves us,
and we did eventually forgive one another. But all of this could have been
resolved with communication.
Conflicts will arise. There is no doubt about it. After all, we are used to
living on our own, and now we have to take care of someone else as well. We are
not used to that yet! It's during conflicts that we realize who we truly are.
Are we going to honor our spouse? Or are we going to drag her or him through the
mud? The more we do this, the more we distant ourselves from the one we love. Is
it worth it?
Retaliation hurts deeply. After all, retribution is not a gesture of love.
Instead it will lead to misery, not bliss. Sarcasm is also devoid of affection,
and this will lead to destruction as well.
What is our Father's purpose in marriage? It's to bless, bless like never
before. Instead of conflicts, we should face the storms of life together with
blessings. After all, two are stronger than just one. Together we can face
anything, for when one is weak, the other will support him or her: "Two are
better than one, because they have a good return for their labor." (Ecclesiastes
4:9, NIV)
Focus on Jesus. "Do you see what this means-all these pioneers who blazed the
way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it.
Strip down, start running-and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic
sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in.
Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed-that
exhilarating finish in and with God-he could put up with anything along the way:
Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right
alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that
story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That
will shoot adrenaline into your souls!" (Heb 12;2,3, NIV)
Jesus faced hostility. He was hated because He genuinely loved others. The ones
who pretended to worship God greeted Him with sarcasm and put-downs; yet never
once did Jesus retaliate. He never used sarcasm or criticism. On the cross he
died on, He uttered: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are
doing." (Luke 23:34, NIV). Blessing others was His norm.
We should never follow our selfish streak, as I did when I was just married. To
bless is to understand our spouse and to sustain him or her at all times. To
bless means to forgive at all times and to face conflicts with pure love. Only
then will marriage be as it should be: a blessing to anyone around us. Put your
spouse first, and you will blossom together.
Conflicts against one another are disastrous. May we learn to face conflicts
with grace. Love should always be our priority.
Honey, can you answer the door?
What! Who do you think I am? The maid?
Be a blessing to your spouse!
Rob Chaffart
The Illustrator: This daily newsletter is dedicated to encouraging
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The Nugget: Published three times a week, this newsletter features inspirational devotionals and mini-sermons dedicated to drawing mankind closer to each other and to Christ.