I See the Horizon and it is Beautiful!

Reality is a monster sometimes.

It can also be a dream come true.

Then again, that dream can be a monster.

It was 5:30 and still day light. My energy was at its peak and the clock was saying slow down.

I actually left the apartment and sat in my car. I had nowhere to go, but I needed to get there fast.

So, I headed to a nearby shopping center and parked my car. I was still sitting in it, but I was somewhere else.

That didn't help so I walked around one of the stores. Nothing.

Now back in my car I decided to stop by the local McDonald's and get a hot fudge sundae. Comfort food always helps.

I grabbed a table near the window and sat there looking out at the world passing me by.

I was in the process of posting a graphic to all my social media contacts. I couldn't find the words.

Sitting there I was suddenly lost in my thoughts.

I am nowhere near where I wanted to be at this point in my life. In fact, I fell backwards several dreams and a bunch of hopes and plans came crashing down on me because my marriage ended.

Based on all I have been through in the last two years I have a few friends and my psychologist who are stunned that I am still standing.

I have my moments. I fall down. I get back up again.

There was no one else in the restaurant at the time. It was peaceful and serene.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I must pause here to make a point about that.

I am a hugger. I am a hand shaker and a touchy, loving kind of guy.

The one thing I lack in my life right now is touch and physical interaction.

This moment stunned me. In that few seconds of touch and awareness I was confused and way out of any connection to reality.

I am always reminded of how many people in this world feel empty and unloved simply because they lack physical interaction with another human being.

The concept of "defending one's personal space" in recent decades built walls around individuals who wanted them built but segregated those of us who needed that closeness and lived for such interaction.

I believe touch is a natural expression of the human spirit.

This time it was my friend, Rich. He always has this remarkable gift of popping up in my life at just the right time.

He was full of life and I was temporarily removed from it as I "zoned out."

We had our usual conversation about opportunities and dreams that still lie within our reach.

But then he said something that worried me.

"I believe that at this point in my life I really only have one more thing I think may be a possibility."

Everything for Rich has always been a possibilty. Nothing was beyond his reach.

We then spoke of the not so distant goal line which appears to be approaching at a high rate of speed for both of us.

"I figure we have about 15 years left," I said.

"That's only 15 Christmases," he related.

Reality turned into a monster.

So, how was I going to accomplish any great dream when I have been set back just years before the goal line?

We said our goodbyes and I returned to my quiet time.

I wasn't saddened, depressed or defeated by this monster reality. I wasn't shaken to the core or stunned by the truth.

The answer was clear and simple to me.

Do what I always did all of my life. Keep going.

If I was 10, 25, 40, 55, or 60 I was working toward a dream without any promise of making it through to the next day. There was no guarantee that I would have enough time to accomplish anything, but I went forward anyway.

I planned, dreamed, fell down, got up time and again never knowing if I would be alive another day.

So, why should anything be different now?

I cannot give up now. I cannot stop because I see the horizon ahead.

I have seen a thousand horizons. I have seen hundreds of approaching storms. I have stood in the darkness and walked blindly forward not knowing if I would get anywhere or walk into a wall.

I will not stop because the world thinks I should.

The world is telling me that I should have collapsed under the weight of this loss in my life.

The world is telling me that I should be hurting still and slow to recover.

Why should I give into the world?

I picked up my phone and posted the following words in that graphic:

"God, why are you so good to me?"

There is more good than bad in today and tomorrow is promised to no one.

There are dreams to dream and plans to make and I must keep doing untilI can do no more.

I see the horizon and it is beautiful!

Bob Perks

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