A woman was explaining her theory of putting her children to bed: "I never tell
bedtime stories that begin with 'Once upon a time,'" she said. "If I really want
to put them to sleep, I start off with, 'Now, when I was your age...'" It's nice
to understand people so well that we know just what to say! Here is a mother who
could speak her children's language.
The story is told of the most famous elephant in the world -- a huge, beautiful
and gentle beast named Bozo. Children extended open palms filled with peanuts
for the Indian elephant, who gently plucked them from little hands and seemed to
smile as he ate his treats.
But one day, for some inexplicable reason, Bozo changed. He almost stampeded the
man who cleaned his cage. He charged children at the circus and became
incorrigible. His owner knew he would have to destroy the once-gentle giant.
In order to raise money for a new elephant, the circus owner held a cruel
exhibition. He sold tickets to witness Bozo's execution and, on the appointed
day, his arena was packed. Three men with high-powered rifles rose to take aim
at the great beast's head.
Just before the signal was given to shoot, a little, stubby man in a brown hat
stepped out of the crowd and said to the elephant's owner, "Sir, this is not
necessary. Bozo is not a bad elephant."
"But he is," the man argued. "We must kill him before he kills someone."
"Sir, give me two minutes alone in his cage," the visitor pleaded, "and I'll
prove to you that you are wrong. He is not a bad elephant."
After a few more moments of discussion (and a written statement absolving the
circus of liability if the man should be injured), the keeper finally agreed to
allow the man inside Bozo's cage. The man removed his brown derby and entered
the cage of the bellowing and trumpeting beast.
Before the elephant could charge, the man began to speak to him. Bozo seemed to
immediately quiet down upon hearing the man's words. Nearby spectators could
also hear the man, but they could not understand him, for he spoke a foreign
language. Soon the great animal began to tremble, whine and throw his head
about. Then the stranger walked up to Bozo and stroked his trunk. The great
elephant tenderly wrapped his trunk around the man, lifted him up and carried
him around his cage before carefully depositing him back at the door. Everyone
applauded.
As the cage door closed behind him, the man said to Bozo's keeper, "You see, he
is a good elephant. His problem is that he is an Indian elephant and understands
one language." He explained that Bozo was frustrated and confused. He needed
someone who could speak his language. "I suggest, sir, that you find someone in
London to come in occasionally and talk to the elephant. If you do, you'll have
no problems."
The man picked up his brown derby and walked away. It was at that time that the
circus owner looked carefully at the signature on the paper he held in his hand
-- the note absolving the circus of responsibility in the case he was injured
inside the elephant's cage. The statement was signed by Rudyard Kipling.
People also become frustrated and angry when they are not understood. But great
relationships are formed by parents who learn to speak their children's
language; lovers who speak each other's language; professionals who speak the
language of their staff and clients. When people understand that YOU understand,
that you empathize with their heartaches and understand their problems, then you
are speaking their language! It is the beginning of true communication.
© 2002 Steve Goodier
Thanks to Life Support System Publishing, Inc.
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