He Used MS to Mold Me

If someone in my family had to have an incurable disease, Iím glad it was I. It has rearranged my priorities, rerouted my highways and straightened my paths.

I use to be a typical young woman, dead set on being skinny, blond and beautiful; well, as near to that scenario as possible. I loved clothes and shoes and purses to match.

I loved being the wife of a successful business and city councilman. I enjoyed being the mother of kids who were active and star sportsmen and cheerleaders. I liked being the talented daughter of my parents and having my vocal chords requested. I was fond of being in demand to serve on committees, though being the big cheese was never my desire. Big immaculate houses were high on my list and nice comfortable cars seemed a necessity.

Go, go, go was my middle name. I took up golf and bowling for myself under the pretense it would help keep me in shape. And travel Ė I loved to travel! Just let someone say go and I was packed and ready. Iíd go anytime anywhere and everywhere; all my husband had to say was, Letís goĒ and I was on a plane, in the car or on a ship.

I loved the Lord He was a big part of my life. I had been raised in a Christian home and had given my heart to God. I was raising my children in the church and teaching them right from wrong. The lord had always been there for me and I had tried to be there for Him, but I failed more times than I care to recall.

MS came to call on me one day, and my body not knowing its intent, invited him in. I call it him, though I often refer to it as a sneaky snake. It strikes out and you never know what part of your body it will attack. It is much like the devil and his forces of evil that are out to devour, catching you unaware of his presence or intent. It started by numbing my spine and fingertips and had both me and the doctors baffled. I grew use to the lack of normal sensations and learned to live with it; much like sin we entertain. My eyes soon fell to the serpentís havoc. I was hospitalized and given the diagnoses of Multiple Sclerosis.

Slowly my life began to change, both in ways large and small. I started having more conversations with the One who was always available. I began to ask Him for favors; ďPlease keep me on my feet Lord.Ē The Bible started becoming a book of instructions instead of something I occasionally read. As my faith was deepening and my priorities changing, my body was succumbing to the varmint that had seized me. But as MS was grabbing my central nervous system, I was reaching out to God; I canít do this without you I informed Him, as if He didnít know.

I had to start using a cane and my pride was tackled. Then I began to use a wheel chair when shopping, then traveling to exotic places no longer seem so important. Two canes became a necessity, and high heels were out of the question; vanity went out the window. Because of medicines and my eventual graduation to a three motorized scooter full time, Iím twice the size I use to be. I no longer fret over wanting to be skinny; Iím just thankful there are medicines to help somewhat with my physical burdens. The time came when I willing gave up a large home; my house keeping abilities have near vanished.

There are so many things I see more clearly now. Businesses can fail, children grow up; talents unused fade away. Fancy cars do not accommodate motorized scooters. Politicians can be voted out of office. Husbands who are friends as well as true lovers stick around for the duration. When God closes a door He opens a window; my vocal cords went unused and lost their talent, but He gave me back my vision and the desire to write.

Iíve always been thankful to God for keeping me on my feet till my children were raised. I am thankful for Him opening my eyes to see more clearly new paths I should tread. I have never blamed Him for my problems; only asked Him to open my eyes to the Blessings that surround me. I still breathe one desperate prayer, ďLord please help me not to become any more of a burden, than I already am.Ē But if it ever should happen, I'm sure there will be a purpose and a heavenly lesson to learn.

Yes, Iíve always said if anyone in my family had to have MS, I was sure glad it was I. ďI donít think anyone else could have been strong enough; they would have taken to their beds long ago.Ē That used to be my reasoning. But now, as I ponder upon the most likely reason; it is that there was someone who needed their priorities rearranged, their highways rerouted and their pathways straightened out, and - it was I. Yes, I am thankful For MS; oh I detest itís imposition in my life, but it has truly been a blessing in Disguise. Though God did not cause my MS, He used it as the clay to mold me into becoming more of the person He knew I could be.

Copyright, 2003, Betty King

Betty King has lived with MS over thirty-six years. She is the author of the book, It Takes Two Mountains to Make a Valley. She is a contributor to the newly released, Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul. Betty is a newspaper columist, and a Internet writer, with honors as, Heart Warmer Gem on heartwarmer.com and Writer of the Month, on 2theheart.com and Starfish Treasure on, Ripplemaker.com. You can find out more about her and her book at her website www.betty.newsmoose.com or she can be reached at baking2@charter.net

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