Of Onion Burgers, Baseball and Parenting
My son Vince, actually my step-son but to me my son, had
the misfortune of having an alcoholic mother and father.
When I entered his life, he was shaking from being on speed.
He was an addict at age 15 and had been arrested for
stealing motorcycles. He had little respect for authority,
his real parents, me, and worst, little respect for himself.
I made him accountable for his actions. I started to ground
him, to raise him the best as I could. I remember once
taking him to the church softball team and playing with
them. After playing ball (he was a great centerfielder with
a superb arm), I took him to a small onion burger dive. When
he got his hamburger, I noticed he was crying. I asked him,
“What is the matter Vince?” His response astounded me.
“My father never played ball with me.” He continued. “He
never even bought me a hamburger.”
I was dumbfounded. How can a father not play ball with his
son? Not take him out for a burger? Incredible. Vince grew
up and now has a family and is no longer on the drug scene.
He works just like ‘normal’ people and is content with his
life. I visited him his past weekend to find out Vince, my
kid, is dying from a liver disease.
His attitude about his situation made me proud. He is living
his life, working and doing what he wants to do, riding a
motorcycle, being a dad, a husband and to me, a son. He
tells people, he is my legacy and his children are my
legacy, the legacy of being a proper parent of how to live
life. I will probably preach at his funeral one day, but as
I have told him many times, it is not where you are in life,
but where you are going and the principles you use to reach
your goals. I taught him the real goals in life are peace of
mind, learning about the spiritual side of life, conquering
your fears and building your dreams.
To you Vince, I say well done.
BJ Cassady
BJ.Cassady@af-group.com
Guthrie, Oklahoma