Grease on Satin
It was in those quiet times together, sitting extra close
to my grandma when she would share one of her childhood
stories. As a little girl, I was always spellbound listening
to her deep, rich, velvet voice. Grandma's simple
vocabulary, honest expression, and poignant dialogue always
stirred my feelings. We had a deeper connection than just
blood. Grandma and I shared the same emotional DNA.
I never questioned why Grandma chose me to be the one to
hear her most private childhood hurts. She certainly had
plenty of people to confide in, having a family of seven
children and twenty-eight grandchildren. Grandma, for her
own reasons, bequeathed her painful childhood legacy to me.
I was 10 years old the day Grandma told me the story that
would magnify her caustic childhood into both my mind and
heart forever.
Grandma's stories always began with her remembering
something.
"Honey, I remember running all the way home from school
without stopping, just so I could tell my mama I had been
chosen to be in our Christmas play."
"All the children at school had voted and I had been chosen
to be the Angel. I was so proud,because I had never been
chosen for anything in my whole life."
"If there was a grander feeling, I had never felt it before
that day."
"Melodie, I tried to tell my mama the wonderful news and she
just turned around, acting like she never heard me, and
walked back into the kitchen. I ran up stairs and cried. I
had hoped that just this once my mama would be proud of me."
Sadness fell on me as I absorbed my grandma's pain.
"Honey, accepting the part as the Angel meant also accepting
the responsibility of providing the costume. My teacher had
suggested a long full white satin dress as the perfect
attire. I had choked when hearing this, knowing I had no
money," explained Grandma.
I felt the anxiety my grandma must have felt.
"As I laid upstairs in the dark, it all seemed impossible. I
knew for sure my mama would never help me."
"Melodie, I prayed through my tears, 'Lord, I have no satin
dress to be the Angel in the Christmas play. My mama won't
help me. Papa doesn't have any money. Lord, please help me,
so I can be an angel'."
Biting my lip, I prayed desperately that God had heard my
grandma's prayers when she was little.
Grandma continued, "I went to school the next day so
worried. During lunch, my teacher Mrs. Hoag called me up to
her desk. She pulled out the most beautiful white satin
material that I had ever seen. She started measuring me. I
almost fainted, not believing what was happening. I thanked
Mrs. Hoag several times, and I joyfully thanked the good
Lord all the way home."
I clapped my hands together excitedly, feeling relieved that
God had helped Grandma.
"On the day of our play, Mrs. Hoag handed me my Angel dress.
I had never seen a prettier dress in my life. I walked
carefully home not getting the dress dirty, as I carried
it."
"My younger sister Vi combed my hair, and then helped me put
the Angel dress on. Vi told me I was the most beautiful
thing she had ever seen. I was moved by her compliment, I
had never been called beautiful before."
"Then Mama started yelling, 'Where do you think you're
going?'" Before I could get out an explanation, Mama
reacted.
"'Get over there and do those dishes!' she screamed. Picking
up her pancake turner, which was sitting in a frying pan
filled with grease, Mama swatted my bottom hard, as I went
by."
"I cried, 'No Mama!'"
"Standing there at the sink I did every last dish and pan,
as the tears ran down my face, knowing Mama wouldn't let me
tend to my dress, until every last dish was done."
"I tried desperately to get the grease out, but the water
just increased the size of the stain. I didn't know what to
do. Total panic and shame fell over me. Knowing I still had
to go to the Christmas play, I bravely put on my coat."
"Mrs. Hoag greeted me cheerfully at the door and then seeing
my face asked, 'What's wrong Lilly?'"
"I felt so embarrassed and ashamed, no words would come. I
took off my coat and turned around for her to see the back
of my dress."
"Mrs. Hoag never said a word; she whirled me around and
quickly untied her beautiful gold shawl and wrapped it
around my waist in one motion. She took a step backward and
proclaimed with such conviction, 'Lilly, you make the finest
Angel I have ever seen'."
"Taking a deep breath, putting my shoulders back, I walked
up front to take my place. I heard quiet whispers of people
saying how beautiful I looked. My classmates were all
looking at me in admiration. I will never forget the
thunderous applause at the end of our singing. It was a
grand Christmas play."
As an adult woman, I am inspired by my grandma's convincing
testimony, as a little girl who bravely partnered with God
when her parents could not give her the love, hope, or the
help she needed.
My inheritance was not a painful memory of grease on satin.
It was instead, a powerful visual etched in my mind and DNA
of a beautiful 10 year-old girl, standing courageously 'up
front' in a white satin Angel dress trimmed in gold, singing
a Christmas Carol as loud as she could.
Copyright 2003, Melodie Lynn Tilander
lynnmelodie@hotmail.com
Melodie Lynn Tilander transitioned from a corporate career,
Vice President of Marketing. She resides in Oregon with her
family. Melodie enjoys being near the water, writing, and
creating stain glass/stone design. Melodie has written
several stories you can find in the 2theheart archives, and
her story "Grandma's Quarters" is featured in the new
2TheHeart book, coming soon!