What An Awesome Gift
"She was only 16 years old", I cried! "Why does someone
so young, have to die?" It was one of those questions that
no one has an answer to. Well, no one, but God. Sometimes
though, if you really listen carefully... He'll give you the
answers.
Her name was Laura, and I'd known her since she was 14 yrs.
old. That's how long she was in ChemoAngels. ChemoAngels is
an organization that brings support to people with cancer.
Each patient in the program is required to check in every
month with the monitor that they're assigned to. I was
Laura's monitor. Every month she would let me know how she
was doing. So, for two years, I rode that roller coaster
with her. The ups, the downs, the celebrations and the tears
as she went from treatment to treatment desperately trying
to fight the cancer beast! In between all the tests and the
treatments, Laura just wanted to be a normal teenager. She
attended school whenever she was able and she had a lot of
friends! She loved hockey and became a well-known fan of the
Peoria Riverman. Everyone who knew Laura, loved her. Despite
her illness, Laura still seemed to find the energy to
volunteer, to reach out to anyone who needed her. She was
the youth chairman for Relay for Life, a personal attendant
for children with disabilities, she volunteered for St. Jude
and Children's Miracle Network, she was active in her
church, and she even received the Young Hero Award from the
Illinois National Guard. She loved life and wanted so
desperately to stay.
I guess God had other plans for her. After four
reoccurrences of cancer, Laura completed her final journey
here on earth and finally went "Home". She fought so hard. I
was so sad to hear that she passed away. It was really
important to me that I went to her funeral visitation. I
wanted to pay my respects to Laura's family and I wanted to
say good-bye to my friend. Her visitation was from five to
eight in the evening. I arrived there shortly after five.
The line at that time extended all the way outside of the
funeral home. I stood in line for almost two hours, that's
how many people were there. Friends, classmates, hospital
staff, fellow patients - it was endless. The line moved at a
slow, but steady pace - but there was just so many people.
She touched so many lives. And believe me, that was very
clear after going to her visitation that night.
All week I had been struggling with feelings of anger and
wavering faith. Wondering why someone so young, that fought
so hard, had to die. Someone who should of had so many more
years of life left. Who accomplished so much and touched so
many people. It just didn't make sense to me. I was angry at
how cold and callous cancer is. I was angry at God because I
didn't understand why so many wonderful people are taken
from us too soon. I walked in that funeral home with all
these feelings. But you know what I walked out with? I
walked out in awe. Awe in the simple fact that each and
every person in there was truly blessed to have known Laura.
And I thought what an awesome gift from God! He placed Laura
in each one of their lives. And even though her time here
was short... that "gift" of Laura's presence in their lives,
that will stay with them forever. I looked around that room
and each one had a story to tell. A story of how Laura
touched them. It was amazing to me that someone who was only
here for 16 years could touch that many people. I can only
hope that when my time is finished here, that I could of
touched at least half of the amount of people that Laura
touched.
I walked in that funeral home that evening wondering why
Laura had to die. But I didn't walk out asking that same
question. Instead, I walked out knowing in the deepest part
of my soul... why she lived.
Copyright (c) 2004, Amy Toohill
tkcareofu@egix.net
I feel that I am a "Work In Progress" and that each person
that I meet adds something to my life... adds something to
"me". Each person that crosses my path adds another piece to
the final "me". Laura was one of the many "pieces" in my
life.