Your Children Will Return
(This chapter was a testimony given by Joy Frangipane)
No one can tell me that fathers and daughters can't have
close relationships, or even become best friends. People are
almost envious of the love my dad and I share. The only time
we argue is about who loves who the most. But our
relationship was not always this warm. There was a time when
I felt I had lost my ability to love my father. I was a
teenage Christian in a public high school. My Christian
background made me different. I was new, craving acceptance.
My father's rules seemed to be the source of my rejections.
Fueled by my insecurities, in my eyes my dad became the root
of my problems. While I set an adequate standard and
struggled to live by it, he was strict. I was angry because
he refused to back down from the standard he knew was right.
He refused to appeal to my ignorance in order to keep my
acceptance.
Things were going from bad to worse during those years. We
hit bottom the day I looked him square in the eyes and told
him that I hated him. They were harsh words, but it was a
hard time. I didn't really hate him. I hated me. I felt I
wasn't bad enough to be accepted by my friends and not good
enough to be accepted at home. When these feelings take over
your life, you search for something-anything-to blame. I
chose my father. He carried the brunt of my pain. He even
became my enemy.
In my heart I knew I didn't hate him. I was angry and
confused. I felt he wasn't concerned with how I felt. It
seemed he had made no room for compromise with my situation.
He risked losing my love to save my soul.
It was a hard time for both of us. He suffered the pain of
rejection as I did. He suffered the hurt and the loss, but
from a different angle. His fear of the Lord withstood his
fear of pain. He loved me, but he had a higher obligation
than my favor and my approval. I'm sure at times he wondered
if he was doing the right thing. There must have been times
when he felt like his prayers were hitting the ceiling and
bouncing back at his feet.
At times I'm sure he considered lowering his standards. It
would have made things so much easier than wrestling with
the power of an independent, strong-willed child. These
considerations may have come, but he never gave in to them.
He stood firm and prayed harder.
The prayers of a righteous man availeth much. Many times he
cried out to the Lord in anguish and in frustration, "What
have I done wrong?" My father has a wonderful ministry to
God in prayer. I think I had something to do with the
character God worked in him during those days. Before he
ever prayed for cities and nations he was on his face
praying for me.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is
old he will not depart from it" (Prov 22:6). That verse was
a promise that he would hold on to. "Your sons and your
daughters shall prophesy" (Acts 2:17) was another promise he
stood upon.
He had given me to the Lord, set a godly standard and held
God to His Word.
At the same time, I was wrestling with my salvation. My
desire to be accepted by my non-Christian friends at school
warred against my desire to be with the Lord. James speaks
of a double-minded person being unstable in all of their
ways (see James 1:8). I was completely unstable. I walked on
a line between heaven and hell. I wanted the best of both
worlds and was satisfied in neither.
Although I had been brought up in the church, the world had
taken its toll on me. My eyes had been blinded to the sin in
my own life, further separating me from God and parents. It
was so hard for me to see my way out.
When a child is brought up in a Christian home, regardless
of what may happen, there is a seed that has been planted in
their hearts that continues to grow. It's an amazing seed
because it can grow in the dark without water; it can even
bloom in adversity. The reason we can never outrun God is
because He is that seed growing within us. Once you have
tasted the presence of the Lord, nothing satisfies you like
He can. Sometimes those who seem to be running the hardest
from God are doing so because He is so close to them.
On the outside, my witness was weak and I was in bondage to
my unsaved friends. But inside my heart cried for oneness
with the Lord. I hated my double-mindedness as much as my
father did. My whole life I wanted strong Christian friends
to save the world with me. I wanted the support, I just
never had it. I did the best I could with what I had, but I
lost my sensitivity to sin. The more I was with
non-Christian people the more deceived I became.
Paul warns, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for
what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what
fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14) I didn't
realize the impact my unsaved friends had on me. The more I
was with them the more I conformed to them. When I look
back, I know if my parents had not been praying for me, I
would have been on my way to hell.
Sin has a way of moving in and taking control. But love is
as strong as death, and many waters cannot quench love (see
Song 8:6-7). Love never fails (see 1 Cor 13:8). And prayer
is the highest power through which love is released. I had
to relearn how to love. My love had become completely
self-centered and conditional. I had failed to realize that
my father and my Lord loved me unconditionally. I had only
to try. I had only to bridge the communication gap to
understand that God had loved me before I was even aware of
His standards. And my dad loved me for me alone, not for
something I had to become.
My relationship with my father is wonderful, and that's the
truth. God has proven faithful in the working of both our
lives. The Lord has bridged the gap and filled it with love.
It took me leaving my environment and being planted with
Christian people who faithfully loved me. It also took my
will to change, but it did happen.
Listen, please don't give up on your teenagers. Don't
sacrifice God's standards of righteousness to appeal to
their carnal nature. They can't respect you for it and God
won't honor it. Your children were not consecrated to Satan;
they were dedicated to the Lord. He has had His hand on them
and He will not forget them. He has heard your prayers and
He is faithful to your cries. He is God.
Prayer works. I'm living proof of it. I look back now and
see how many times nothing but the miraculous dedication of
loving parents took me out of hopeless situations. The Lord
will not forsake His children. He will not turn His back on
them. We are never too far from His reach. Believe the
promises of the Lord. He is not a liar. He honors a
steadfast heart.
Hold on! Your children will come back to the Lord.
(c) Copyright 2002 Francis Frangipane
tblake@frangipane.org
ISBN 1-886296-22-7 Printed in the United
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