Wilted FLOWERS
One often expects to feel good about doing a good deed.
Well it does not always happen. The day I set out to do a
good deed I was a bit rushed. I had stopped at a grocery
store on the way into the office and bought a bouquet of
flowers. I had to check five bouquets before I could find
one that didn't have wilted flowers (or so I thought). I had
brought three very nice vases from home and in the parking
lot I separated the flowers, placing some in a vase for our
secretary. I brought the flowers in and gave them to her
just as a little sunshine gift. As I set them down for her I
mentioned that she would need to add some water to the vase.
Her demeanor immediately should have put me on guard that I
was about to be shot down by the cutting words of a sharp
tongue. She asked in an abrupt tone, "And just why would you
give me flowers and not bother to put water in the vase?"
I was taken aback by her brusque manner and must have stood
speechless for at least five seconds before I apologetically
explained that I didn't want the water to spill all over my
car on my drive into town. I live out in the country and
right then our road was a mess of slick mud, causing the car
to slide and rattle from one side to the other. I just
didn't think she would mind adding water to the vase.
"Well", she continued, as if I was a naughty child and she
certainly intended to make an example of me, "what kind of
gift is this? Look at this flower," she said disdainfully as
she tapped the little pink carnation, "it is wilted!”
By now I was shocked at her rough and thoughtless manner and
embarrassed at being the center of attention, for a small
crowd of employees had stopped in their tracks at the front
of the office and just seemed mesmerized by what was
unfolding at the front desk. I wanted to fade away from the
whole scene.
When the secretary continued I could hear a snicker from
behind me and couldn't believe that anyone could find this
funny. But the secretary seemed to refuel with the attention
she was getting and she touched another carnation.
"And what about this one, it looks rather wilted too?” She
flicked at it in a condescending manner
My gosh, didn’t her mother teach her any kind of manners at
all?
Then she continued in a dramatic fashion, while snickering
and laughter from one individual seemed to stimulate her to
find more fault with the little bouquet. She touched another
flower and then another and another, ridiculing each one.
"This one looks kind of droopy too and so does this one.
Where did you get these anyway? They certainly aren't
fresh!”
By now I felt like I was in some ridiculous melodrama as I
watched her play out her part. My emotions charged through
me in a chaotic manner from embarrassed at the scene and
apologetic for not having found a nicer bouquet to
disappointed and then angry at her thoughtless actions and
words.
I turned my back on her and began walking out, slowly. I was
fighting tears and working to keep my composure. I spoke to
her with my back turned from her.
“I can not believe that you would behave in this manner and
be so hurtful when I tried to do something nice for you.” By
now I was only six steps away and I turned and faced the one
individual who had been laughing and directed my next
remarks to him, “and I cannot believe that when someone is
hurt you would choose to laugh. I feel so badly. How can you
see something funny in my feelings being hurt? What is with
that anyway?”
He looked at me startled, stuttered over a few words, had
the decency to look embarrassed and then said, “I don't
know.”
I turned away from him and walked into the small open area
where photocopying is done and began working the photocopier
as I tried to settle down my thoughts. I felt so aggravated
at just everything; the store for selling me a bouquet with
some flowers wilted; irritated with myself for not finding
nicer flowers; then I was annoyed at the individual who
laughed, and I was infuriated with the secretary for putting
on such a public and demeaning display.
Later I promised myself, “I’ll never do another nice thing
for that thoughtless, condescending, insensitive old bat.”
This was not the first time her abrupt behavior and
thoughtless words had left me feeling hurt and aggravated.
The following day I sat at my kitchen table reading my daily
scriptures. The chapters were all about Joseph, this was
Joseph, son of Jacob, who had been betrayed by his brothers
and sold into slavery to Egyptians. Joseph's life took some
interesting turns and though he ended in prison, eventually
he ended up in a position second to the Pharaoh. By and by,
Joseph's entire family went begging for food in Egypt.
Joseph, the head man there was forgiving, gracious and
caring even to the brothers who had betrayed him.
The final scripture I read that day left me sitting there
stunned, for I felt it was directed at me. “Wherefore, I say
unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another: for he that
forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned
before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin,
I felt chastised. I was holding a grudge and was determined
not to do one more nice thing for the secretary. Suddenly I
knew how important it was for me to forgive her actions. I
thought, “well maybe I might send her a nice card.” With
that single thought, I immediately felt something amazing
happen. In my chest it was as though a dark spot had been
replaced by delightful light. I began feeling so good and
knew my grudge was gone. I felt full of light.
It was as though heavy drapes blocking the sun has just been
opened and the light spilled in like a carefree toddler.
Forgiveness is such a blessed gift, I think I just received
a smile from God.
Anger is a choice
Ellie Braun-Haley,
shaley@telusplanet.net
Post Script Ellie says she is so glad that she kept her
composure and later learned the best lesson of the day, that
of forgiveness.
Ellie is the author of four books and is presently working
on a new book, a compilation of true personal stories about
heavenly intervention. Her short stories have been published
in numerous e-zines.