Lately our Pastor has been preaching on a very good subject. He has been talking about the "space" between the "stimulus" and the "reply" to the stimulus. Now, it really makes a lot of sense. Someone does or says something to you (stimulus), and then you have a second of "space" before you react "reply" to that word or action. He calls it a choice of "pro-action" or "reaction." Pro-action being the Godly way to answer, VS reaction, the flesh in all itís fury answer.

Now I have really enjoyed it, because it has made me look at how I respond to folks about different things. The last thing I want to do is intentionally hurt someone with a remark. That kind of pain is hard to remove, and medication will not make it go away. Words said do break something. Maybe not youíre "bones," like the old rhyme says, but your spirit or soul can be broken. So this teaching has made me more aware of my remarks and words I speak. That is a very good thing! However, it does not mean every one is getting the message and putting it into practice. I found this out, the hard way.

I have a real bad habit of talking with my hands. Must be an Italian thing, because I have always done it. I am sure you know at least one person who is a "hands-all-over-the-place" talker. Well, that is me most of the time. Anyway, I went to talk to this person in church, and must have used my "sign" language, because they got very adamant and angry about my "pointing" at them. Said to me that I do it all the time, and it really bothers them. That it "looks" dangerous. (I guess I point the index finger like a gun or something.) Anyway, to continue, they grabbed my hand and very sternly said to me, "stop it!" I, of course was taken back (not even knowing I do it) and apologized for my actions, and walked away.

It was not until I got home, that I began to cry. I was very upset. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me get over this silly thing, and forgive the person. Right about then my daughter called me to see if I would go some where with her. I said yes, and met her outside. When I got in the car, she could see that I had been crying, and asked me what was wrong. I did not want to talk about it, but she kept at me until I told her what had happened. Her answer to me was just what I needed to hear.

She said, "looks as if that person did not use their space to well in dealing with the stimulus! They could have just said in their "space" of time; "here comes Robyn with her hand and finger pointing thing, OK self, this will only last a minute, just deal with it." Smiled, listened to you Mom, and then walked away."

All I could do was laugh. She reminded me we are all still in the molding stage, and that none of us is finished yet. Actually, she used her "space" well, to defuse the pain that had been created in me, and to help me see that it was just a "BLURT" on the other persons part, in their "space" of pro or re-action.

Next time a person says something to you, that causes you to wince or feel hurt, remember this little true story from me. Everyone, no matter who they are, Pastor, Leader, Friend, or family, will at some time, make the mistake of "BLURTING!" Just keep in mind. God is not finished with any of us yet!

© Robyn Cavalera

Please contact Robyn Cavalera if you are planning to use her writings. Thanks.

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