I recently went to a self improvement workshop in Los Angeles, California, which
was one of the most insightful and enlightening experiences that I've ever had.
On the very first day I was partnered with a 50 year old woman named Diana. Our
challenge was to climb a 60-foot tall rope ladder, working as a pair. We were
connected at the hip with a four-foot long rope and each fitted with a body
harness to catch us if we fell off the ladder during the climb.
At first glance I thought that I would be able to make the climb on my own,
seeing that I'm pretty active and physically fit. When I realized that I would
be partnered with Diana, the voice in my head started to buzz with disempowering
thoughts like: 'How the hell are we going to do this?' And 'I hope Diana doesn't
have a heart attack!'
Well, seeing that the whole point here was for us to learn something about our
own limitations as people, I made a choice to turn things around and take on
this challenge head on and began to ask myself more supportive questions like:
'How can I motivate and inspire Diana? What are our strengths as a team?'
Before we started our climb I looked Diana in the eye and I said: 'I believe in
you, just give me your 100%.' At the beginning of the climb, things went pretty
well and we eventually reached the first rung on the ladder. Then it started to
get tougher. I was up on the second rung and Diana was still on the first rung
and our connecting rope was stretched to full length. I heard someone yell to me
from down below, 'You've got to go down and help her up!'
That was the first time I realized that even though I knew I could do the climb
on my own, it wasn't just about me. It was about both of us making it to the top
as a team. So I climbed back down to the first rung and bent down on my knees to
support Diana and using all my strength, pushed her up to the second rung. The
whole time we were doing this, the ladder was swinging back and forth with a
40-foot drop below us.
As soon as Diana got settled on the second rung I screamed up to her in support
of this massive accomplishment. We were making the impossible possible. Diana
and I continued this way up the rope ladder until we reached the top and we gave
each other a big hug - we were both exhausted but hugely delighted.
After we got back down to the ground, Diana said to me: 'I didn't think we were
going to make it to the top.' I thought to myself, I didn't think we would do it
either. It was at this moment I really understood what I learned from the
exercise - that in fact this was not about climbing at all. I realized that in
my entire life I had always done things for myself in order to feel that sense
of achievement and purpose.
When I heard Diana say those words to me it created an entire paradigm shift in
me and I realized that it's very lonely at the top when you do things only for
yourself. I learned that life is a lot more fulfilling when you take other
people along for the climb. I now know I will never again feel lonely at the
top.
Steve Martile
smartile@stephenmartile.com
Stephen Martile is a full time Project Engineer and writes part time for
Confidence Bound Magazine. Stephen also writes his own personal development blog
called, 'Personal Development Made Simple.' His personal blog is filled with
insights on personal growth and his purpose is to inspire others to achieve
their own dreams and desires by learning from example.
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