"So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love." (1 Corinthians 13:3 MSG)

You men may give a beautiful necklace to your wives. That sounds like a very loving thing to do, right? But let's say that you give it as a truce because of a terrible fight you had. Let's say you give it so that you won't fight anymore? Your wives will thank you for the necklace, no doubt; but is this really love?

Or let's say that it's the middle of the night and your 6 month child is crying. You are so tired and the following day you need to be at your best. What if then you reach over and shake the shoulder of your spouse and say, "Honey, can you see to the baby?" Then, when he or she crawls out of bed, you roll over and go back to sleep? But wait: Which one of you is the one who showed love for that child? Which one of you showed love to the other? Maybe your spouse needs his or her sleep just as much as you do. Maybe what he or she has on the agenda the following day is equally as important as what you have on your agenda. Are you showing love when you wake them up to tend the baby? Which one of you is showing love to that baby? Which one is showing love to the other?

Let's say your 87 year-old neighbor lady loves a beautiful lawn, and although her son faithfully comes over every week to cut it, she is often seen pushing her lawn mower between his visits. She is also often seen raking leaves and pulling weeds from her lawn. Your conscience jiggles you a bit because you know her heart hasn't been good, but you excuse it away. After all, doing work in her yard gives her life purpose! But what if she started cutting your lawn? Digging up your weeds? Raking your leaves? What if she has a heart attack while she is raking her leaves or yours? How would that make you feel? Who is the one who showing love?

Too many times, we do things for our own advantage. After all, the less we have to do, the better for us, right? And receiving is so much less stressful than giving to others....

But is this truely love?

May I ask you two important questions? I would urge you to take the time to meditate on them and reflect upon your own life and actions:

1. What is love, anyway?
2. Do I take every opportunity to show true, unselfish love, love that does not in anyway result in personal gain?

I'm afraid that I don't always reflect unselfish love in my own life, and that has to change.

And if your meditation reveals that some of the things you do are motivated by selfishness, than I pray that this realization will evoke a similar result in you.

Remember: Life without love would be a horrible existance. You would be all alone with no one to care for you. If this isn't what you want, than contemplate what you can do to show genuine, unselfish love to others!

Rob Chaffart