Is Love Ever Wasted?

"I am just wasting my love on him!" She said in frustration.

"I don't believe that's possible," I replied.

"Well, it's never returned to me. I mean I have tried and tried to get him to love me, but I have failed," she said.

"Just because you love someone doesn't mean they have to love you back," I said.

"But isn't that what love is all about?"

"Sure, a love between two people 'in love.' But you are expecting someone to love you simply because you love them."

"I was hoping he'd learn to love me. You know, once he felt my love, he'd learn to love me in return."

"Learning" to love someone or some thing sounds like a punishment or a settlement. Like learning to love the life you have rather than learning how to change it. Or learning to accept the lesser of two situations because you feel there is no other choice.

Love is like a chemistry of the senses. It's a mixture of sight, sound, smell and touch that stimulates within us an uncontrollable reaction. For some it's immediate, like accidentally igniting fireworks. Once sparked, it's impossible to stop.

In other cases, it's like being bitten by a bug. You feel its bite, but ignore it. Then one day it flares up until you can no longer pretend it doesn't exist."

"That's how it was with him!" She said. "I knew I loved him from the beginning. There were fireworks," she said smiling.

"But, here's the chemistry part. For true love to exist, for that "meant to be" kind of love, the kind of love you want from him, all the elements must exist. Simply put, it takes two loves to make it work. Like jump starting a car, you need both the positive and negative cables attached. You are positive, he is negative." I said.

"Then I did waste my love," she said.

"No, my friend, you cannot waste love. Love is a teacher, too. Love is the lesson and life is the classroom. Yes, you love him that much, but you have learned he does not love you that way in return. Both of you will learn from this.

Here is the good news. Your love for him is so intense, but one day when you find the right person, the feeling will be even greater. It will be even more awesome than now.

Still, you have given him a gift, too. It is his lesson of love. Yours did not fulfill him. Like a fresh rain, it washed over him and made him more than he was before meeting you, but it did not soak into his soul," I told her.

"But I loved him with my heart!" She said tearfully.

"For people of faith, love is measured in the soul. That's the place where love begins. God's love is the standard by which all love is measured. God's love is limitless. God's love is pure. God's love is forgiving and for all things," I said.

Then, placing my hand on her shoulder I said, "That's why people say, "I have found my soul mate."

"But what about someone who has loved that intensely more than once in their life? Is one love secondary to the other? Is one less than the other?" She asked.

"Not necessarily. True love is so big, so boundless that it encompasses all. But each one is different. True love, God's love, in its purest form, is all equally important. Like the love for a child, the love for your neighbor, the love for your country, brother, mother and stranger, love is the one element that cannot be diluted, or made less.

In the story, "The Cross and the Switchblade" by David Wilkerson, he is facing a man who is threatening him with a knife. He tells him something like "You can cut me up in a thousand pieces and every one of those pieces will still love you. That's pure love!" I said.

She then looked at me and said, "But this hurts so bad."

"Love never hurts. The lesson learned hurts. The disappointment hurts. But ask God to heal the hurt until you feel the love you long for."

No, love is never wasted. God is Love.

Bob Perks [email protected]

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